Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Loudoun Election Cheat Sheet, Part II of III

Clerk of Circuit Court

Eileen M. Tagg-Murdock (D) Gary M. Clemens (R)
Lost (by a 37.8% margin) in the 2011 School Board race
Lives in Sterling, the jewel of Loudoun County
Positions aren't much different than the other guy
Incumbent
Has increased the level of automation and electronic access to Loudoun records
His teste is stamped on my marriage license

Commonwealth's Attorney

Robert J. Ohneiser (D) James E. "Jim" Plowman (R)
Can't be sussed to create a proper website.
Reputation for challenging the school board.
Incumbent
Could potentially prosecute new cases under the stage name, "The Plowman"
Tangentially involved in the whole embezzlement mess.

Sheriff

Brian P. Allman (D) Michael L. "Mike" Chapman (R) Steve O. Simpson (I)
Has filed 25 lawsuits since 1989. "Allman called Nabhan the female anatomical part 20 times, according to court documents." Blames Simpson for the embezzlement mess Blames Chapman for not detecting the embezzlement mess sooner

What an embarassment!

Commissioner of Revenue

Since Bob Wertz, Jr. is the incumbent and the only one running, you might as well write me in. I like revenue and will compose a campaign song cycle called "La Bienvenue Revenue Revue".

Treasurer

Evan D. Macbeth (D) H. Roger Zurn, Jr. (R)
Feels that Zurn is an indifferent treasurer.
May be more suited for the theatre.
Incumbent for almost 20 years.

Soil and Water Conservation District Directors (vote for 3)

  • John P. Flannery II
  • Marina R. Schumacher
  • L. Ali Shahriari
  • James K. Wylie

There's so much mud in the sheriff's race that I can't even muster up the empathy to care about soil and water, even with their Rain Barrel Workshop about to be held in Purcellville. So off the top of my head, I would recommend voting for Flannery because he looks like a more eccentric version of Robert Redford, Schumacher for her apropos first name, and Wylie because he's the incumbent. As consolation prize, Shahrari can get the Oscar for Sound Mixing.

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