Loudoun Election Cheat Sheet, Part I of III

It's often difficult to cut through the macrame potholder of misinformation that stretches across the loom of general elections. With district boundaries resembling modern day Nazca lines, it can be a chore just figuring out who's eligible for your vote and which voting station to report to (dropping in unannounced on a random elementary school is frowned upon in this day and age).

As a public service, the URI! Zone is offering side-by-side comparisons for every race. Currently, this data is limited to my direct voting area because I'm but a one-man political team with no revenue stream and my district is the only one that matters. If a comparable resource does not exist for your area, you should seriously consider moving to Sterling Park so we can hang out, vote on stuff, and grill things.

State Senator, District 33

	Jennifer T. Wexton (D)	Stephen B. Hollingshead (R)
Current Position	Incumbent, Virginia Senate	Director on two boards
Last Election Result	Won (with 52.7% of the vote) for Mark Herring's vacant seat in 1/2014	Lost to Barbara Comstock (by a 47.9% margin) in the 2014 Republican primary for US Congress
Degrees In	Law	Political Science
Lives In	Leesburg	Leesburg
Self-described Priorities	Economy, Education, Women's Health, Transportation, Health Care, Environment, Gun Safety & Mental Health, Ethics Reform, Voter Rights	Liberties, Education, Jobs, Traffic
Endorsements	Washington Post, NEA, NVTC, and 18 others	NRA-PVF and assorted single person endorsements
NRA Political Victory Fund Grade	D	AQ
Campaign Website Annoyances	Mouseover menus	Mouseover menus, Animations, Assumes you're on mobile
Twitter E-Peen Ratio	467 tweets : 1388 followers	4532 tweets : 772 followers
Number of Kids	2, developed internally	13, outsourced labor
Went to UVa	No	No
Public LinkedIn Profile Length	No account	8 Page Down taps
Best Name Anagram	New Fen Otter Jinx	Beholden Staph Shingle
Notable Wikipedia Controversies	Allegedly comparing Tea Party activists to rapists	Not notable enough for Wikipedia
Probable World of Warcraft Raid Role	Making sure no one cheats on Raider DKP	Process improvement after reviewing raid battle videos
Ink Cost of New Loudoun Stationery	16 characters	21 characters
Has a Real Hostname	No, jenniferwexton.ngpvanhost.com	Yes, www.hollingshead.com
Minorities in Team Picture	58.3%	No Team Photos on Website
Photographed Wearing a Hard Hat	No	Yes

House of Delegates, District 86

	Jennifer B. Boysko (D)	Raul "Danny" Vargas (R)	Paul R. Brubaker (I)
Current Position	Aide to Dranesville Supervisor	Public Relations, Board Member	Vice President of Strategic Accounts
Last Election Result	Lost to Tom Rust (by a 0.3% margin) in 2013 for same House of Delegates seat	No Previous Experience	No Previous Experience
Degrees In	Unknown	Miltary Career	Political Science, Public Administration
Lives In	Herndon	Herndon	Herndon
Self-described Priorities	Transportation, Education, Health / Human Services, Women's Rights, Immigration, Equality, Environment, Economy	Education, Transportation, Economy, Veterans	Transportation, Education, Economy, Social Issues, 21st Century Government
Endorsements	21 organizational endorsements	Washington Post, former incumbent, Tom Rust, and many others	assorted individual endorsements
Second Language	French	Spanish	Unknown
Portrayed By (in Lifetime movie of election)	Mary Steenburgen	Jimmy Smits	Michael Chiklis
Profile Most Resembles Shape of District		X
Family Photo on	A staircase	The couch	The Herndon caboose
Probable Hunger Games Strategy	Poisoned rations	Claim all of the cornucopia weapons	Strategic alliances followed by inevitable betrayal
Most Likely to Care about the Gerrymandered Loudoun tumor on the District

To be continued tomorrow...

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