2014 Un-favorites: Top 10 Personal Injuries

• February: Second-degree burns on my hand from wiping crumbs off a hot stove


• Also February: Two-day food poisoning from either a Safeway Mediterranean Pizza or a Wegmann's Pork Roast.


• March: The first and only migraine headache of 2014


• April: Extended duration cold simultaneously occurring with a horribly bit lip


• June: Shooting off the back of a treadmill at 9 miles per hour


• July: Somehow pulling my left lung muscle, preventing any coughing for two weeks


• August: Bitten by a spider right between the toes


• Beach Week: Face scrapes from pool horseplay


• Also Beach Week: Divot in thumb from trying to pick up an oil-coated blender


• Late September: Smashed left ankle while rearranging the massive office desk

Stay safe out there, boys and girls.