List Day: Top 5 Downsides to the New Car

5. The car key is so big and hollow that you might as well be carrying a baby's rattle around in your pocket.


4. The rear-view mirror automatically dims with increased light intensity, so your incredibly white friends can't ride in the back seat.


3. The ownership of two late model cars is the gateway drug to wanting to live in Ashburn.


2. Car stereo programmers are still incapable of designing an "All Random" function that gets through a whole CD without repeating.


1. When you fart in a car with leather seats, you can no longer rely on cloth seats to absorb the smell, so you have to blame it on a passenger.