List Day: Top 5 Downsides to the New Car

- The car key is so big and hollow that you might as well be carrying a baby's rattle around in your pocket.
- The rear-view mirror automatically dims with increased light intensity, so your incredibly white friends can't ride in the back seat.
- The ownership of two late model cars is the gateway drug to wanting to live in Ashburn.
- Car stereo programmers are still incapable of designing an "All Random" function that gets through a whole CD without repeating.
- When you fart in a car with leather seats, you can no longer rely on cloth seats to absorb the smell, so you have to blame it on a passenger.
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