Monday, November 07, 2011

List Day: Nine Signs My Genetic Offspring Will Rule the World

  • I have never stayed in a hospital or had an operation.

  • I have never had a cavity or needed orthodontics.

  • My body is apparently capable of converting red meat, cheese, and bread into any of the necessary vitamins you would get from fruit or vegetables.

  • The whole "blond hair, blue eyes" master race concept never worked out, and global warming increases their susceptibility to sunburns.

  • I am small and consume fewer resources (see also, small furry mammals vs. dinosaurs).

  • I have never broken a bone.

  • I can maintain metabolism while exercising less than one day(s) per week.

  • As an Asian, I likely have a long dormant gene for understanding logogram-based languages. This will be a necessity when China takes over everything.

  • I have never died.

A million-dollar mistake in German museum
Accused Nigeria comic to get last laugh on drug cops
HP Dreams of Internet Powered by Phone Chips (And Cow Chips)

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