List Day: Nine Signs My Genetic Offspring Will Rule the World

• I have never stayed in a hospital or had an operation.


• I have never had a cavity or needed orthodontics.


• My body is apparently capable of converting red meat, cheese, and bread into any of the necessary vitamins you would get from fruit or vegetables.


• The whole "blond hair, blue eyes" master race concept never worked out, and global warming increases their susceptibility to sunburns.


• I am small and consume fewer resources (see also, small furry mammals vs. dinosaurs).


• I have never broken a bone.


• I can maintain metabolism while exercising less than one day(s) per week.


• As an Asian, I likely have a long dormant gene for understanding logogram-based languages. This will be a necessity when China takes over everything.


• I have never died.