I've added two new sets of pictures to the Photos page: a new batch of cat photos and some sunrise pictures taken at work.

This is an additional sentence added to make today's update seem a little longer and more useful than one would otherwise expect.

X-Box stops bullets
Get help for your hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

permalink | 0 comments

My hands hurt from typing all weekend, so this is today's update.

He sounded white on the phone.
With his approval, doctors severed his finger, but somehow in the chaos that followed, they lost his ring.
Va. man ordered to pay damages for motel mess

permalink | 1 comment

Newsday Tuesday

Judge Invalidates Admission by Va. Slaying Suspect

Officer: "Do you know why we're here?"
Suspect: "Yeah, because I stabbed my mom in the neck."

A Virginia judge invalidated a killer's confession because he blurted it out before the officers were able to read him his Miranda rights. Apparently the judge expected the officers to treat their opening statement as a legitimate part of the interrogation, when anyone with a bit of common sense knows that a cop always starts with that phrase. It's as common as opening a chess game with a pawn or asking the hefty guy at the All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp Night if he wants extra pie. "Do you know why we're here?" isn't a question that invites a confession so much as a polite way of saying "You're sketchy and we're about to ask you some questions." And obviously the suspect wanted to confess, so the judge tossing out this bit of evidence is a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

TV Writers Must Sell, Sell, Sell

Product placement in TV shows increased 84 percent last year. I don't mind product placement at all if it's not the focus of a scene -- for example, driving past a billboard for Snuckey's or drinking a can of Pepsi without commenting on it is fine. Making every car in a show a Ford and having a character yell out "Get in the F-150!" is stupid. Alias is especially silly in this regard since every vehicle in the 3rd season was some kind of Ford. I also think that an increase in product placement should result in a decrease in normal commercials but apparently networks do not believe in a life of balance.

My, Christopher Robin, you've changed

I have no sentimental attachment to the Pooh-verse, so the decision to turn Christopher Robin into a more-marketable little girl doesn't really bother me at all, but I'm sure Pooh-bahs all over the world will be outraged at the change. All I remember of watching the animated cartoon as a kid was that Pooh and Piglet were fun to watch but Eyeore and Tigger were obnoxious, and I probably only read the books a couple times. The article ends with four other changes to cartoons for mass-media's sake, including this one: The narrative of Enid Blyton's The Little Black Doll, a black doll that wanted to be pink, was reversed to avoid possible racist interpretations. Black tabby, indeed.

Video shows police handcuffing 5-year-old

After pouting in an empty classroom for thirty minutes, a kindergarten girl is escorted to the principal's office where she tears things off the walls and breaks stuff on the desk. School administration, rightfully fearful of frivolous lawsuits, call the cops who handcuff the girl (who has calmed down by then) and chuck her in the paddy wagon.

The school teachers obviously did all the "right" things here, although it's a shame when the right things pander so much to bratty kids these days. After about ten minutes of putting up with the little princess, the teacher should have gotten mom back on the phone and mom should have given her blessing to launch the kid out of a cannon or something equally as creative. All kids have tantrums, but when your kid does stuff like this at school and refuses to listen for thirty minutes, you're probably not doing something right as a parent. Also, the police response was stupid -- frightening the kid after she's already calm and sitting does nothing to fix the original behaviour. It's like collecting puppy pee in a cup everytime your puppy pees on the floor and then pouring it on his food eight years later -- the puppy, by then a snarling mastiff, will have no recollection of his bad behaviour, and will then eviscerate you and use your head as a squeaky toy.

Nude ear-squat video clip inquiry starts

This article reads like a junior high book report. They never directly tell you what an ear-squat is, so I'm presuming it's common knowledge in Malaysia. Personally, if I were to invent a procedure which forces criminals to expel foreign objects from local borders like that, I would pick a much saucier name than "ear-squat". That just sounds like a fetish gone bad.

German diner fined for biting waitress' toe

A German court fined a man for biting a waitress on the toe and drawing blood after he spilled beer on her foot and she told him to lick it clean.

What the heck. You told some random stranger in a restaurant to lick your foot. It's your own fault that your foot is now a vampire. There is a reason that the napkin industry makes billions of dollars every year -- to prevent tragic situations such as this one.

Yesterday's search terms:
jason price trumpet, free midi file of when santa got stuck up the chimney, how online marketing is happening in reuse condom, "asian baylee" porn -sweet, interestyng storys

tagged as newsday | permalink | 0 comments

List Day: Ten Tips

In keeping with this week's peculiar education theme, the Washington Post published an article with Ten Tips on How To Get Ahead In College (not to be confused with the more often cited Top Ten List, "How To Get Head In College"). Sadly, not all of them apply in the real world.

1. Go to class and take notes yourself.

Useful, but if your notes tend to fade into illegibility and drool as you nod off during the lecture, you're better off just staying home and reading the book later.

2. Don't shy from courses with lots of papers.

The opposite is true here -- go for the courses with lots and lots of multiple-choice tests, because at least then you are not at the mercy of subjective grading or a TA that was recently dumped.


3. Don't major in engineering.

This is one they have completely wrong. Being an engineer will give you tons more free time given your lack of social calendars, and therefore you'll be much more successful at studying and testing!

4. Make a big event out of your most-feared academic tasks.

Going out to write a paper? That's madness! If you're out and about, chances are good that you'll forgo the paper entirely for a game of pool or a couple of pints. At least if you stay home, you'll eventually run out of things to distract you, leaving nothing to do but the paper. (Unless, of course, you live in a World of Science outlet -- you could be distracted for an infinite amount of time)

5. Speak to your professors frequently.

This will make professors hate you. Maybe things are different at non-research institutions, but normally they want you in and out with as little fuss as possible.

6. Study in an isolated place as early in the day as you can, and do a five- to 10-minute break every hour.

Does anyone actually study anymore? Not including cramming, I can't think of a single person from my college career that every took time out of their day to review course materials.

7. Use section meetings for more than getting to know attractive classmates.

The whole point of college is to find someone to marry once you graduate, after which the dating pool will dramatically shrink. I thought that was common knowledge -- Business 101 is secondary to such evolutionary and reproductive concerns.

8. Don't do all of your reading.

In whole-hearted agreement.

9. Before you start work on a paper, do the analysis in your head.

This will also let you postpone the paper for weeks at a time with the excuse of, "Well, I've been working on it in my head." It also makes sudden amnesia a viable excuse for a late paper, much like "My dog ate the disk."

10. Let experts look at drafts of a major paper.

This goes back to #5 -- most professors want to be graders not teachers, and if you force them into that role they'll no doubt tackle your final grades with an unmatched fervor.

Do women need men?
Forth tenor boo'd off the stage
Further misadventures of the fourth tenor

tagged as lists | permalink | 3 comments

Twelve 12 of 12s

The final post of the 12 of 12 series is supposed to be a highlight reel with the best picture from each month (because highlight reels are only a rip-off when they're in sitcoms).

January: The best kinds of parties involve standing around a table eating fudge, followed by a game of Munchkin.February: A little tech company humour.March: They always said that Booty was pretty stacked.April: This is Amber's "at rest" pose.May: Because a view from your crotch is better than no view at all.June: Good old Cheetos. Nothing beats Cheetos.July: INVISIBLE TRAMPOLINEAugust: I always knew my girlfriend was a little fruity.September: Eating pie off of fishies.October: I just generally like this picture.November: More food than you can possibly imagine.December: Have you done your Christmas shopping yet?

My Old 12 of 12s 2006
J	F	M	A	M	J
J	A	S	O	N	D
2007
J	F	M	A	M	J
J	A	S	O	N	D

Congratulations to Jim Barry who successfully named the Queensryche song from Monday's Mini-Name-That-Tune Contest!

Original Excerpts
Extended Clip

Jim wins a $5 gift certificate to Amazon.com, even though he offered to give his prize away to someone else!

Using your Myspace page as a defense
South Koreans create glow-in-the-dark kitties
Naked man sent to wrong house for sex

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 5 comments

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

1:17 AM: Stumbling to bed after winning $50 in assorted poker games.		8:47 AM: The cats decide to sleep for a couple more hours.
9:26 AM: Breakfast and the Post.		9:45 AM: Cold, foggy, and rainy -- the perfect combination for staying indoors without guilt.
10:23 AM: Taking advantage of indoor time to get ahead on some of this week's web page updates.		11:17 AM: Reinstalling World of Warcraft, not because I plan to readdict, but because if I do want to check out the new expansion pack I don't want to wait through the 8 hour patching process.
12:48 PM: Braving the chill to cook a 12 of 12 steak.		1:10 PM: Eating an entire steak before Rebecca comes home and I have to share it.
2:00 PM: Going through some wedding photos from last year.		4:30 PM: In the parking lot of Home Depot, picking up new snow shovels for next week's blizzard.
7:15 PM: Trying my hand at homemade chicken noodle soup.		8:01 PM: Dinner, a nice wine, and movie choices!

See more 12 of 12ers at Chad's site!

Jigsaw expert saves man's shredded cash
Flaming drives online social networks
When computers go wrong

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 8 comments

Twelve 12 of 12s

The final post of the 12 of 12 series is a highlight reel with the best picture from each month to show the wide and varied extreme sports you engage in throughout the year.

January: Handmaking pasta, harvested from the pasta trees in our orchard.		February: Never try to watch more than one Pirates of the Caribbean movie at a time.
March: And people say that cats aren't affectionate.		April: And people say that cats aren't affectionate.
May: The second Steak Night to fall on a 12 of 12 day this year.		June: We now have a handle on our cabinets.
July: When you live near D.C., you see famous people all of the time.		August: Herr Metal performs Paradise City.
September: Diagnostics indicate that a koala is effing up my engine.		October: Booty is going on a long journey soon.
November: "Soylent Leaves is CATS!"		December: Merry Christmas!

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 0 comments

Twelve 12 of 12s

The final post of the 12 of 12 series is a highlight reel with the best picture from each month to show the wide and varied extreme sports you engage in throughout the year.

January: This leftover Chicken Reuben may look disgusting, but it was DELICIOUS.		February: The closest we came to blizzards in 2012.
March: All aboard the anal glands express.		April: Hoisin Explosion for dinner.
May: I used to play poker.		June: Hogger never made it past level 12 before I deleted him.
July: Free Cirque du Soleil performance.		August: Making pork kebabs.
September: I continue to improve at multitasking.		October: She mad.
November: Turkey leftovers.		December: Cheese soup takes so much effort.

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 3 comments

Twelve 12 of 12s

A montage of my amazingly interesting year.

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 2 comments

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 3 comments

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 1 comment

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 1 comment

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

tagged as 12 of 12 | permalink | 2 comments