Friday, October 01, 2004
The Cynic's Guide to How Bush Will Win the Election
  • Produce Osama Bin Laden in the week before the election (after knowing his exact location for a year or more but saving it for a special occasion)
  • Withdraw a majority of US troops for PR and then send them back after the election
  • Allow a single terrorist attack to slip through the cracks, with enough casualties to alarm, but not enough to pose a catastrophe
  • Invalidate all absentee ballots and ballots from non-Diebold states
The Cynic's Guide to How Kerry Will Win the Election
  • Produce a video of Bush snorting coke
  • Find another National Guard document purporting that Bush was in contact with the Russians, this time typed in Courier not Times New Roman
  • Have an "unassociated" 507 group order the assassination of Ralph Nader and then claim ignorance
  • Pressure Bush in the next debate until he's flabbergasted and cracks on national television (check for earpieces first)
Man run over by train must pay for the pleasure
Bears know how to steal from invalids
Man stages home invasion to impress his wife
Why more politicians should have blogs

tagged as politics | permalink | 0 comments


Previous Post: Untitled Post


Next Post: Untitled Post

 

You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history. The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2020 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.

Jump to Top
Jump to the Front Page


October 2004
SMTWHFS
12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31
BLOGLOG
11/13
11/11
06/15

OLD POSTS
Old News Years J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
visitors since November 2003