Friday, October 01, 2004
The Cynic's Guide to How Bush Will Win the Election
Man run over by train must pay for the pleasure
Bears know how to steal from invalids
Man stages home invasion to impress his wife
Why more politicians should have blogs
- Produce Osama Bin Laden in the week before the election (after knowing his exact location for a year or more but saving it for a special occasion)
- Withdraw a majority of US troops for PR and then send them back after the election
- Allow a single terrorist attack to slip through the cracks, with enough casualties to alarm, but not enough to pose a catastrophe
- Invalidate all absentee ballots and ballots from non-Diebold states
- Produce a video of Bush snorting coke
- Find another National Guard document purporting that Bush was in contact with the Russians, this time typed in Courier not Times New Roman
- Have an "unassociated" 507 group order the assassination of Ralph Nader and then claim ignorance
- Pressure Bush in the next debate until he's flabbergasted and cracks on national television (check for earpieces first)
Man run over by train must pay for the pleasure Bears know how to steal from invalids Man stages home invasion to impress his wife Why more politicians should have blogs|
tagged as
politics
|
permalink
| 0 comments
|
|
|
Previous Post: Untitled Post |
Next Post: Untitled Post |
You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history. The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2024 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.
 |
J | F | M | A | M | J |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |
| J | F | M | A | M | J | |
| J | A | S | O | N | D | |