Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Pet Peeve of the Moment

My first-world pet peeve at the moment is the modern trend towards car colors that barely count as colors.

These colors are like the La Croix of the color palette -- some paint engineer was thinking of the word, "blue", punched in the hex code #000088 in Photoshop, and then layered in all fifty shades of grey to produce that magical commercial hue, "Subtle Notes of Light Pale Turquoise Seen Through a Piece of Paper™". Then it gets slapped on a car and falsely advertised as something edgy and adventuresome, like a 44-year-old at a Dave Matthews concert who's also wearing a Jimmy Buffet ball cap.

The cars drive down the road like color-devouring black holes, simultaneously absorbing light and your sense of excitement. Gone are the vibrant, metallic shades of primary colors of yesteryear, replaced by boring, matte-finish blandness that looks like you tried to print a photo on an inkjet printer but the cyan cartridge was the only one not clogged.

It's like being a kid and asking your parents if you can get McDonald's on the way home and they say, "No, we have food at home," but then you get home and dinner is a hot dog boiled in a pot of water with no buns. (This is a true story).

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