Comments by Tree

Total Comments: 106
Old Names: Naperhell Mark
First Post On: 10/13/2004 03:49 PM
Last Post On: 11/03/2005 03:31 PM
#1) Tuesday, October 12, 2004
I heard Brian Wilson's "Smile" last Tuesday and thought it was pretty damn good. Tho if you want better (and original versions) of most of the songs, check out the Beach Boys Boxed Set "30 Years of Good Vibrations". On disc 2 there's at least 30+ minutes of the original "Smile" on it, plus a few other late 60s versions of Smile songs on disc 3, and 17 minutes of the song "Good Vibrations" in its original Pet Sounds - Smile era on disc 5. I personally prefer the 1960s versions, but of course it's awesome to finally have Brian release and finish Smile after all these years. You can thank cousin Mike Love (that asshole) for killing the "Smile" from the 60s. He was more than vocal (bad pun) about his displeasure with Smile, saying crap like it didn't sound like a Beach Boys record; nobody is going to buy it, it sucks, etc. All Mike Love cared about was singing stupid songs about "Judy on the beach" even tho he didn't have an ounce of musical genius in him.

I enjoy Smile a lot more today than when I first heard it in 1995 or 1996 when I got the box set. Let us know what you think of it. 2004s Smile still has the same warmth, rawness and harmonies as it in the 60s. There's just some killer hooks in it that I still find myself singing while working or driving (Vegetables, Heroes and Villians, Cabin Essence)

And Best Buy had a sale?? What the hell?? That doesn't sound like the Best Buy of my life... Best Buy to me is only 1 or 2 checkout lanes open and their long lines... fat pimply-faced employees just walking around, not doing a damn thing.. the CDs I want are never in stock.. piss-poor service.

I never heard of the other two CDs you bought... damn kids and their trendy "new" music. lol.

~Naperhell Vulgar Mark

#2) Monday, October 11, 2004
you got a grill! a fing kick-ass grill! stop your bitching! ;)

#3) Friday, October 08, 2004
It's one of those shows, that if I don't start watching it from the 1st episode, there is no way I can catch up.

But I'm just growing weary of television in general anymore.

#4) Wednesday, October 20, 2004

And contrats, Brian!

#5) Friday, October 22, 2004
I think he missed the announcement of "People, people please! Avoid the purple acid! DO NOT TAKE THE PURPLE ACID!"

#6) Monday, October 25, 2004
"Dido" sounds like a dog's name. Sorry you didn't enjoy "Smile" as much.

#7) Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Stupid typical mothers too busy worrying about their stupid brats, play dates, the latest Barney DVD, brown nosing to the teachers & shitting out babies then to actually take notice on anything around them. Their hormonal system just gets so out of whack after the lil bastards pop out. Running around in their minivans like a chicken who just got its head chopped off.

"No, lady, I don"t give a damn about your stupid baby pictures! I got two words for you, Mama: "Get barren".

I don't know how in the hell Mike puts up with it. Maybe he should kick her in the cooter or something. Maybe plant some drugs in her desk and call security. Or maybe file a false sexual harassment claim so she can get fired and let a competent person have her job instead and she can wipe the food and shit off her babies' asses.

And yes, I voted too. Of course, after a short day of work, I went in the mid afternoon where there was no line whatever, and I was in and out in under 5 minutes.

I voted for the baby eating candidate.

#8) Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Actually, I expected Kerry to win... and it was my gut feeling in late March or early April.. I thought Kerry was a lock. I never imagined Ohio going to Bush.

I fully expected the lurch-look-a-like to be our next president.

P.S. King of Queens is the worst sitcom on TV.

#9) Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Bad sitcoms? You got it!

one of the worst of all time?

Yes, Dear. I can't believe CBS let this show achieve syndication.

Everybody Loves Raymond. Wow, how pointless has this show gotten in the past few years?

Ray as Kermit the Frog: "Ahm goin galfing.
Debra: Like hell you are.
Ray: Galf!
Debra: Spend some time with your damn kids!
Ray: *moans for 3 minutes* "Al-riiiiiiiight!" *grunts* **throws down golf clubs**

Malcolm in the Middle. Ultra Screamin pyscho mother.. poor Hal... poor kids... poor town... poor set of actors! Too bad poor Malcolm couldn't brew up some laryngitis medicine in College Prep chemistry class.

That 70s Show a.k.a. "That Shitty Show". The first few seasons were great.. then it got all soapy, irrelevant to the time era. Ashton Kutcher gets my vote for All-Time Dumbass. In real life and on the set, he's King Dumbass of Dumbassland.

Less Than Perfect. Less than bearable would be more appropriate.
David Puddy: "huh huh that's right."

of the past:

The Nanny. Oh god... ah-nenenenenenenenenenenenenenenheheheheheh Mr. Sheffield!

Just Shoot Me. How many times did I utter that phrase while watching this poor, poor ass sitcom?

Becker. Was funny for about 3 episodes. And then... nothing.

Shows hanging on by a thread pushing the envelope of worthiness and awaiting the kiss of Death:

Still Standing
Listen Up!
Grounded For Life
What I like About You


#10) Thursday, November 04, 2004
Yes, Arrested Development is a great show. I've seen every episode and read a great article in the Chicago Tribune Tempo section today on why it's unorthodox ways (hence, shooting with a single / or two digital camera to cut down on production crew transition time / screwing the perfection of focus / lighting-production gloss; the point that it's actually has a strong script / the actors aren't being directed to death on spot placement/ lines. Also they have great actors, and the show is made / produced like a live musical performance where the feeling of the moment is more important than some technical "of the norm" sitcom cliché of being shot in a living room on a couch where brainless one-liners are used to set up a joke on a heavily edited storyboard.

Of course, much of what I just generally summarized is from the article, but the show has a rawness / real feel of inspiration of just letting the talent fly (hence, throwing the shit the to the fan) and seeing what transpires. And hey, it's not a traditional sitcom but it makes you think; and it has enough gags in it to keep the viewer hooked. It's the kind of show you really need to watch at least twice.

And I read that Ron Howard's voice-overs are constantly being re-written to narrate for that right substance.

Honestly, I haven't seen a show this great since the Simpsons came out in January of 1990. These people KNOW what they're doing. I just hope they keep up the great work.

And yes, their Emmy win of the best comedy of the year was justified. I can't say enough good things about this show. And it's nice to see that Jason Bateman has found some work.

It's supposed to be on Fox, Sunday nights; 7:30 centeral time.

#11) Friday, November 05, 2004
i don't know who this Mark is aforementioned, but it's not Naperhell Mark.

#12) Friday, November 05, 2004
Ok, from this day forward, I shall dub thee "mud" and change my s/n from Naperhell Mark, to my childhood nickname: Tree. (and those who played Volleyball with me in high school know what that means ;)

#13) Friday, November 12, 2004
That's pretty funny in retrospect on what CBS did. But the people running networks are just total idiots. And I say that based on the shows they allow and don't allow.

Oh, and I've never seen any of the billion CSIs there is.

#14) Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Christ almighty, I am so sick and tired of bleeding hearts like U2 / Bono trying to push their agenda and act like they're saving the world.

I seriously doubt they're (or specfically Bono) living in shacks and giving up all of their income to help these needy causes. Otherwise, they're just a bunch of rich Capitalistic artisans who are throwing the dog a bone enough to lift their ultra-guilty consciousness into contentment. I'm sure their clothes or cars cost more than a whole year of income to the poor people's nations they're singing about.

And musicially? Bah. (thanks to Mike) And Mtv? Bah.

#15) Friday, November 19, 2004
Robin Williams wasn't stoned in those 1980s stand-up bits..he was coked up.

Nobody rambled on incoherently like a babbling motor-mouth while sweating profusely more-so like he did.

And it is a pointless shame to make a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire. But if I was that judge, I too wouldn't have granted the father any custody to the children either.

#16) Monday, November 22, 2004
That is just sad about EA Sports and their employees. I always wondered how much hard work it took to make these games (I've played over the years many versions of baseball, basketball, hockey (the most fun by far) football and golf).

My most recent complaint, is after playing Madden 03 at a friend's house constantly, is that the gameplay is still so poor. On most levels, it's (near) impossible to kick field goals, complete a simple pass and there's still way too many fumbles / interceptions, etc. It's to the point that I have to dive forward / run out of bounds like a pussy-coward like Randy Moss because it feels like every play is going to result in a turnover. And the fact that they made the offseason part of the game so complicated that you need a Harvard Business Degree to do it and run countless drills to get your players ready / earn meager points. Madden (**) is without doubt the most frustrating, angry, rage-a-holic game I have ever played in my life time, and I'm not the only one. Once I start screaming profanities while playing Maddens, I can't stop. I've never played anything so frustrating in all of my life. And the worst thing is, the game isn't fun most of the time. You can't make late hits, or intentionally hurt guys or start fights. It's a NFG.."No Fun Game".

How in the hell I haven't snapped my own Madden 02 CD yet is probably due to strong constraint. Or the fact that I don't want to pay another $3 for it on eBay. And while the 02 doesn't have the offseason farce like 03, it has the worst menu system I have ever seen in my life.

As for NHL 2002, which I've played to absolute death, instead of fixing flaws like the chip-shot goal from the edge of the blue line that almost always goes in, erratic shooting where the puck comes nowhere even close to the net. This has been a problem with their hockey games, but instead of improving it, and making accurate retro jerseys (and providing more of them) they concentrate on stupid shit like making players a "Hero" in the 3rd period and players, which makes them almost impossible to stop / check. I didn't see the stupid point to going thru 4 impossible checklists to earn "cards" so that one day, in that 1 in 300 chance, your player is invincible for that :07 seconds of play.

MLB 2004, is by far the worst baseball I've ever played. Almost every Barry Bonds hit is a homerun, with pitchers batting, they all end up going 2 for 3 in the game with RBIs.. Not to mention that the stupid fielders are never on the bag when you throw them the ball. Oh yeah, and it's impossible to steal 2nd (I've thrown out some 100 baserunners this summer / fall alone).

And why in the hell EA Sports stopped releasing NCAA Football on PC is beyond me. I'm still playing the 99 version. (Northwestern Wildcats # 1 in 2001, baby!) Some of us don't feeling like spending $200 every few years for some console and paying like $80 for games. Plus you can't customize as much on the console, so to me, PC is superior. Graphics aren't everything. I wish EA would focus more on gameplay than trying to cram another hundred pixels into a square inch.

And the sad thing is, EA Sports has no competition. I play 3DOs High Heat Baseball which is massively superior to EA MLB, but that company is not around anymore. Madden has always been the only one, and that's not going to change, same with hockey.

Oh, and we could all do without the stupid crappy Rap / Hip-Hop music that comes with these games.

And as for non-sports video games, I don't think I've played one since SimCity. I literally have no idea what else is out there. I'm not a fan of anything sci-fi or space / fantasy related, and shooters games are kinda pointless to me.

#17) Monday, November 22, 2004
eh I was never a fan of Superman. It must be the cape. I can't trust a man who wears a cape. Even if it's good cape-wearing weather.

Even as a little kid, I always found that "image" completely unrealistic total fantasy and unconceivable. There are no superheroes.

And it's kinda creepy with the Superman fetish-thing Jerry Seinfeld has going. I don't even want to think about THAT stuff.

#18) Thursday, December 02, 2004

#19) Friday, December 31, 2004
Happy New Year from Naperhell, IL, Mr. Uri!

#20) Wednesday, January 19, 2005
*sigh* on the MLK Jr. story. This country is getting too god damn sensitive.

You know what else Martin Luther King Jr. had as a dream? "Someday....! We will live in a land where prostitutes and hookers.... are legal and cheap! I have a dream! It's THE dream!!"

#21) Friday, January 21, 2005
oh no. Not an entry by Mike! We all know how poorly his literature is structured.

The pain! The pain of it all!

I think I speak upon the behalf of the future expensed Reading Public...

"no fucking THANK YOU!"

#22) Thursday, January 27, 2005
I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, Brian. What's "World of Warcraft" ?

#23) Thursday, January 27, 2005
damn it! All I have is... 3 silver, 7 bronze and .39 cents left over from a Best Buy gift card and some red string. Will that be sufficient? =P

#24) Tuesday, February 01, 2005
oh Brian, there's no way in hell that's actually real, is it?

#25) Tuesday, February 01, 2005
lol yeah. "Total...fake out!"

#26) Monday, February 07, 2005
on the cookie story:

That stupid old bitch. How in the hell do you sue someone who was doing something nice for you? It's not their fault that you're a nervous screwed-up wreck of a person.

Yeah, the lesson learned here is "old people are fucking stupid. Avoid them at all costs."

It's too bad the old bitch didn't have a heart attack. No apoligies, I can't stand hearing stupid things like that.

#27) Friday, February 04, 2005
eh you'd have to work long and hard to get me to watch the very old 32-year old Garner & her show. Plus I've missed so much, I'd like to start watching from the beginning.

The basic plot doesn't interest me much (just like cop and lawyer shows), and I'm more in comedies & sports than drama.

Yes, I've always been an odd one.

#28) Wednesday, February 02, 2005
McDonald's is garbage. The end.

#29) Friday, February 04, 2005
sure. Tho I don't have a logo per se right now.

#30) Thursday, February 10, 2005
The only govt secrets I already know is that the moon landing never happened (was filmed in Hollywood); McDonald's fish sandwich is made of Carp meat, and that cheese is 100% wonderful and has no ill effects whatsoever (like the idiot doctors and so called "nutritionist experts" say). I can't imagine there's anymore (or even as interesting).

I'm still looking for an avatar.

#31) Monday, February 21, 2005
If I wasn't afraid of long-distance phone charges, I'd call up Paris Hilton and tell her that when she was on SNL three Saturdays ago that it really SUCKED and fans of the show don't appreciate stupid air-head trendy pop icons spending the whole show reading cue-cards & acting poorly while ruining the show. Take you and that lil rat dog of yours elsewhere!

#32) Thursday, February 17, 2005
Home values? Who the hell knows? Most of us either live in rented apartments or still live at our parents house.

Buying a home..isn't that something you do in your 40s?

#33) Monday, February 21, 2005
The Oscars? I steer clear of any awards ceremony. It's just not really entertaining and most of them are so boring and cliched (like the dinosaur "Miss America Pageant".

#34) Wednesday, February 23, 2005
I'm still more shocked people actually follow the Oscars.

#35) Thursday, March 03, 2005
you'll be getting an email from me shortly along with some possible avatar choices.

#36) Thursday, March 03, 2005
There's too many internet thugs these days. There's a few on a few message boards I know that I want to kick the shit out of.

#37) Thursday, March 03, 2005

#38) Thursday, March 03, 2005

#39) Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I never saw any of those animated movies.

Why the choice of black as the new background color?

#40) Tuesday, March 15, 2005
mmmmmm look at all of that mac n cheese. makes me want to nose-dive into it and go for a swim.

#41) Wednesday, March 16, 2005
lol "In honour" ??

Are you European or Canadian??

"the Honourees honour this colour of the millimeter!"

#42) Thursday, March 17, 2005
oops. Didnt notice that the blogs Comments were on top instead of bottom. But I still stand by my comments.

>>lol "In honour" ??

Are you European or Canadian??

"the Honourees honour this colour of the millimeter!"

#43) Thursday, March 17, 2005
If you were born in 79, than I'm actually older than you.

And wow, who the hell remembers taking a test in high school?? I sure as hell don't. It's all a scan tron green & pencil graphite blur.

#44) Thursday, March 17, 2005
Yeah, I noticed the exclamation point background too. Nice touch.

Ugh, too much green beer last night.

#45) Tuesday, March 15, 2005
It finally hit me. Jaood reminds me of Al Roker. Awesome, man! :)

#46) Wednesday, March 23, 2005
That black hole would be a perfect spot for a weekly or bi-weekly poll.

Tho I think Mike would suggest random animated gifs.

Poll suggestions could be like:

"Why in the hell are people celebrating an evil crook like Martha Stewart? Do you think..."

A) she's pure evil?
B) the woman is a saint. It's a media witch hunt.
C) I need table decoration ideas. Easters coming.
D) I like cheese.

Or something else like, "Should they pull the plug on the brain-damaged women? Y/N" or "Is the US doing the right thing by drilling for oil in Alaska? Y/N"

or like, "Favorite type of TV show:

A) reality
B) drama
C) comedy
D) lawyer / cop shows
E) none of these

Or something. I don't know.

#47) Monday, March 21, 2005
crazy kids and their satanic rock music!

#48) Thursday, March 24, 2005
Man, things are getting really scrunched up here in 800x600 Resolutionland.

#49) Thursday, March 24, 2005
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesdays. We have one of those in the Fox Valley mall, but I've never been in it.

Man, when I saw that pic, I thought, "oh shit... it's dog shit!" or maybe some kind of exposed intestines or something. That doesn't look like the way a chicken strip should. And from my research, Popeyes has the best chicken strip, with KFC being a close second.

#50) Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Teachers fail at peer mediation:

I'm sure Oliver had it coming. Nobody likes a cocky know-it-all teacher. (and lets not forget, women are just as inclined to start fights as men.) Plus we do not know of prior instances of the involved parties.

And Baines posted $2,500 bail? Nobody should ever bitch teachers don't make enough money if they can pay that shit.

Once again, it sounds like a hormonal cat-fight

And finally.. "you don't mess with Texas." If some stupid-ass teacher was messing around my kid, I'd lay the smack down.

#51) Friday, April 08, 2005
A follow-up to "Chili is now finger food"

woman is a repeat suer. That spells a recipe for "con" in my cookbook. That link probably won't be clickable. I'm HTML ignornant.

#52) Friday, April 15, 2005
the original McDonalds store here in Illinois (Des Plaines in Chicagoland) celebrated its 50th b-day of fattening up & killing people.

Hopefully it'll be bankrupt & gone by its 100th bday. (tho sooner the better).

#53) Tuesday, April 12, 2005
These polls are the greatest thing since sliced bread!!!

There's a lot of anti-poll-ites out there.

#54) Monday, April 11, 2005
I've said this before and I'll say it again: Best Buy hires the most incompetent people outside of McDonald's.

If you're hired after Thanksgiving, you can bet on being unemployed in January, and if you so much as steal a paper clip, they'll arrest your ass in a second.

Plus, I have my own horrible experiences with them (horrible lines, credit card not scanned in properly resulting in not getting a beloved stereo which resulted in a riot, items that i want never in stock; and...and... I seriously hate Best Buy & I'm forever boycotting it and ...and... I'm too emotional right now to go on.

#55) Friday, April 15, 2005
While I conquered that demon (been off the junk for almost 3 years this May), the food they offer is just ungodly unhealthy. And as lazy as people are today, I think as a country we've shown were too stupid to take care of ourselves and to eat properly.

You can't trust people to always make good judgements. Think of it as like Ephedra, which was rightfully banned because it's dangerous, but yet, some stupid asshole judge in Utah is fighting the FDA to lift the ban.

Sometimes I think it's just better to completely eliminate the problem rather than try to fix it (sure, McDeth put out salads, but teamed them up with fatty dressings, bacon bits and cheese for christs sake). It's getting to the point that our youth is incredibly obese & is likely to bankrupt our health care institutions in 40 years. Also another problem is there's too many damn McDonalds around.

I mean, wouldn't our lives be a whole lot better if we didn't have to hear those stupid annoying commercials on the TV / Radio every 15 minutes, or see those god damn Golden Arches every 1.2 miles?

I try to educate people and prevent them from going to McDeth but some just don't care. And I too used to eat the shit almost every day and I gained 50 pounds from it. It's extremely addictive. Oh well.

#56) Friday, April 15, 2005
Moderation or not, itd be better if you didn't eat there at all, but eat a less-fattening meal like Subway, Arby's or Jimmy John's, or better yet, soup from Quinzos or Panera Bread. Hell, even a few burritos from Taco Hell would be better.

McDonalds cooks with addictive chemicals and well, any shakes they offer are complete artificial. To me, their fries are nothing but greasy mounds of glob covered in salt. Their fish sandwichs are oily Carp-meat (yes, Carp fish) topped with salt, mayo and relish. The meat, which changes color and flavor some 5 minutes after leaving the fryer, is pretty much horsemeat and cow anus.

Plus you'll have to put up with long lines, a loud restaurant filled with screaming kids; teenagers taking your order and getting it wrong, trash and musus on the parking lot & on your food.

Believe me, once I quit eating there, my greasy and pimple-ridden back (at age 22 at the time, no less) cleared up, I didn't feel so sluggish and tired and I lost the 50 pounds I gained.

And I got tired of chewing on the chicken ear I always found in my McNuggets & Chicken sandwiches.

Plus I hear those "select chicken strips" are small and a total rip-off.

And who would eat food who's mascot is a clown? Clowns are evil!

#57) Wednesday, April 27, 2005
"Lost" .... lost... nope. Doesnt ring a bell. Never heard of it.

And you got that right, Chompy! That is one ugly & hairy motherfucker who looks like Bob Dylan.

#58) Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Re: poll

Man, I'm a Republican and even I picked "rants" over "go back to Liberal camp!"

I dunno. I enjoy people bitching about things since I like to bitch about things myself.

P.S. SNL sucks and they need a new cast and better writers.

P.S.S. Gasoline is too fucking expensive. You sure there isn't something we could sell on ebay as a country to help pay for more oil? Maybe we could sell California to Mexico or something.

P.S.S.S. Why the hell don't we see Tang advertised like they used to?

#59) Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Female dogs like yourself have a lot of genital blistering, eh?

#60) Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Ah yes, prescription drugs. Which reminds me of a shady character that approached me on the street.. he was wearing a trench coat and his baseball cap side-ways and he said, "hey man, you wanna buy some bugs? I can hook ya up with some really good bugs. I got some bugs that'll make your skin crawl!! I got some bugs that'll fix yo up real good!!"

so I went, "Naw, that's okay. I've got enough bugs crawling around on me as it is."

But he persisted, "you gotta buy these bugs, man!!"

"Sorry" I said, as I walked away into the Quiznos to order a Steakhouse Beef Dip sub.

#61) Thursday, May 26, 2005
Don't forget Garner got pregnant & thus ruined her career like most women do with their life. Since Mr. Red Sox got his seed into her, and the November debut of the show, I'm guessing there's going to be some sort of hiatus since they can't do an Alias where Garner spends the entire time hiding behind an armful of laundry.

You'd think with all of the money those two make they'd have the top of the line birth control, but stupid as stupid does.

Which reminds me of Leah Remini inexplicably decided to finally have a child (which of course she bitched on talk shows about how horrible it was being pregnant) during the 6th awful season of "King of Queens". She of course just could have waited a year or two since the show is going to end shortly; but now well all see her puff up like Pop n Fresh on the show in syndication with no explaination. (And as a rule in televison: babies kill shows).

So basically, Garner made things a whole lot worse for those writers of the show (which I've still never seen an episode of).

And of course, I've never seen "Lost" but I noticed an extremely fat guy.

A few questions:

How does he get fed enough; did he eat anyone and what the hell does he eat for food?

#62) Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Excuse me, Mr. Uri, but I come from a Miracle Whip family... and we were not to converse with Mayo people. ;)

I was born and raised on Miracle Whip, the tangy spread made for sandwiches! (tho I hear mayo is much more healthy)

#63) Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Recently I started dabbing with Hellmans. It's still very different to me, but it brings a nice lubrication & flavor to a cold sandwich. But sometimes I need that little bit of tang so I spread on both. Of course I also season the hell out of the miracle whip / hellmans. Great combo with tomatoes, too.

#64) Monday, June 06, 2005
I basically remember what happened on Thursday June 6th, 1985. Me and Chompy were either in Kindergarten class wrapping up the school year with our hippie teacher reading books or doing "Olympic Day" outside on the playground / field, or finally out of the hellhole and at home watching cartoons or playing outside. I remember it was a very hot and sunny in early June of that year.

And since it was a Thursday, and if school was out, I would had been spending the day shopping with my mom at the Eagle, Jewel, Dominiks, Altons, Cee Bees and possibly the K-Mart.

And I'm pretty sure there was some legos in there, too.

#65) Friday, June 10, 2005
Marines, Air Force, Army..its all the same. I remember when these bastards were hounding me as soon as I graduated high school, saying I should join their War Machine. I used to get calls every other week to once a month bothering me from whatever I was doing to sign up. Theyd go on and on about how great it was to sign up; how I'd get so many benefits towards college it would bring despite me being in college & had 3 part time jobs at the time. Then finally, after I said, "I'm a Republican, but an anti-war Republican." Then after some 3 to 4 years, they gave up. By then, I was 22 and they finally got the hint.

Yes, I respect the idea of soldiers, but I'm not stupid enough to sign up for it. And keep in mind, this was during the late 1990s, during Slick Liar Willie Clinton peacetime. I'm all about cutting back Government spending, and right on top of my list... is NASA and the Military.

Am I a bad Republican? Sure. I'm also pro-choice.

#66) Friday, June 10, 2005
The only thing we need NASA for is weather satellites. Yeah, let's waste $8 billion building a rocketship! No way.

Please. We're nowhere even close to traveling outside of the galaxy. We haven't even been to the moon in over 30 years, and I'm still thinking that was faked. We just don't have the resources to go out there and travel the millions of miles, and frankly, I don't think it's worth it, since we have many more problems here, like oil, gasoline, terrorists, California.

#67) Monday, June 13, 2005
You're a regifter!


#68) Monday, June 20, 2005
No way in hell am I getting married, bub! This wild horse can't be tamed nor understood.

You can't chain this free bird.

#69) Wednesday, June 29, 2005
What's up with Coldplay? Would a smile kill them or something?

Also, never heard of the band.

#70) Monday, June 27, 2005
I run a daily blog too, but I just can't update it every day (sometimes the bits take a few days to write themselves), plus I have baseball scores of the day, so it's always a day late.

Why do I do it? I don't know. But it is fun to cuss and be as disgusting as possible ;)

#71) Thursday, July 07, 2005
You picked "God Only Knows" over "Good Vibrations" (which to this day, still baffles me after 12+ years of first hearing it) and "Wouldn't It Be Nice" ? (big BB & Pet Sounds fan btw)

I remember this song irked Mike Love a lot.. said it wouldn't reach the BB fans.. but man, Carl Wilson does a great job on the vocals with the lush studio instruments.

Tho none of those songs compares to my all-time favorite: "House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals.

Any musical insight on "Good Vibrations" would be greatly appreciated. I'm well aware of the instruments, singing and lyrics.. it's just the whole sound that baffles me.. the organ, the theremin, the ambience and of course the "Na na no naaaaa, na ne nah" at the end. You think they did some tempo / speed / pitch altering at the end?

And yes, I know the song is about LSD & the reason why dogs bark at some people but not others.

BTW, Brian Wilson currently lives about 15 miles NW of me in St. Charles, IL :P

#72) Thursday, July 07, 2005
And for some reason, every time i hear "God Only Knows" I think of the "The Wonder Years" TV show and Winnie Cooper and Kevin Arnold on their field trip the museum. Probably the first time I ever heard the song.

#73) Monday, July 18, 2005
Me like Harry Potter no like. I honestly think witchcraft is evil and laughable (especially from all of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer jive). I don't get the Potter craze or what it's all about or what it really means. But, it sounds like this is some trick to write dozens of books to keep the cash rolling in. What a concept.

It's this generation's "Star Wars". The kids gotta believe in something... even if it's fantasy.

#74) Monday, July 25, 2005
No way in hell am I seeing "Charlie". I'm a grown man and I wouldn't want me or my kids (where ever the hell they are) to see Johnny Depp acting like a freak. Depp couldn't look anymore freaky if his name was Michael Jackson.

And I'm a little sick and tired of seeing remakes. Shows Hollywood doesn't know what to do with itself. What's next? A remake of "The Sound of Music" or "Falling Down" or "Waynes World" ? I don't like movies that have a budget bigger than most of a large towns lifetime income.

And I'm not a big movie person, if you can tell.

And ya, nothing good is associated with Chili's.

#75) Monday, July 25, 2005
That's me! ;)

#76) Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Thank god my wisdom teeth haven't come in (and I'm 27). Hopefully this post won't push my luck... but my teeth were always slow to come in (I still was losing baby teeth at 15). I was like 7 when I lost my first tooth.

Maybe lacking wisdom is the key ;)

#77) Thursday, July 28, 2005
You are SO a lesbian film maker, Chompy! If you were any more of a lesbian, you'd be a carpenter tearing up carpeting for a living.

And # 1 is SO the ChompBlog (but we all knew that). Stringing together a bunch of fragmented thoughts to tell a confusing story about a bunch of people we've never heard of.

Mine is # 4. I really only use it to be a place where I write down my bits and phrases. The daily part of it was just to fill out daily boredom. I don't like to get personal because that's just boring. I just provide entertainment. Who gives a shit if I walked in the park today or I pooped in the toilet and saw Skip? Sterile and impersonal, that's what I'm all about, baby.

And cheese is wonderful.

#78) Thursday, July 28, 2005
what? me?

#79) Friday, July 29, 2005
Boobs are over-rated! There, it had to be said.

#80) Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I believe people should take a national test to see whether or not they're fit to breed. Those most protesting this? public school teachers. They'd be out of a job.

Seriously, most people who have kids have no business having them. It's a standard I'd like to see in America.

#81) Tuesday, August 02, 2005
And after looking at the "crying brat" image, my utter most urge would be to kick the kid in face. Proper loving parental guidance or compassionate understanding; either way. I was taught "you give a fit, there will be hell to pay." Seriously, I would had been embarrassed if I made a public scene. And there would had been hell to pay. You take away my Nintendo, TV or cheese, I would have died.

#82) Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Punch your children! Yeah!

Get them hooked on something, then when they do something wrong; anything wrong, take it away from them!

"I am the parent. I'm bigger, I'm stronger, and I pay the bills. Therefore you do as I say. I'm the boss, you're the employee."

Glad to see there's some other concerned people who don't believe the children run the world. Something happened in this stupid country when suddenly the kids took over.

#83) Thursday, August 04, 2005
I first saw Tatu perform on some late night talk show. I was appalled on how those two Russian chicks kept groping each other. And while listening to the music, I've never heard live singing so quadruple-tracked in my life.

And yeah, their music sucks, too.

#84) Friday, August 05, 2005
"If you don't watch Lost, what the hell is wrong with you? Watch it. Peer pressure is key."

lol. But no, I will not watch the show. There's something about people being stranded on an island that makes me feel claustrophobic.

#85) Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Ah, the Monkees.

Girl on bus: "Ewwww, you like the Monkees?? You KNOW they don't write their own lyrics or play their own instruments!"

young Marge Simpson: "No! That's not true!"

Girl on bus: "That's not even Mike Nesmiths real hat. ;) "

young Marge: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

I used to have the 45 (yes, kiddies, it's a piece of vinyl. and records are still better than CDs) of "Giant Step" and I only comment because it's the only song on the list I've heard off & went thru the Monkees phase in the mid 80s like everyone else did. I can tell that was an early Monkees song before they went mad with power and took over the music. I'm pretty sure the song is about drugs or LSD.

"And take a giant step outside your mind".

Yep. Definitely LSD. Sneaky.

#86) Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Don't you eat poop in your spare time, Chompy?

And John who?

It's all about nostalgia, baby. I mean, bitch.

#87) Thursday, August 11, 2005
How about some food reviews? Like who has the best chicken strips? Or the best frozen pizza? Or the best sub sandwich?

#88) Friday, August 12, 2005
I'm going to have to chime in on this Rancy Dorito love-fest. I've had them, and I don't think they're the shit. Tho it's better when you dip it in ranch dressing.

And the cheese Doritos are awesome... sometimes I'll tear off a little piece of american or sharp cheddar cheese to go along with the chip.

Cheese is wonderful. And is making me hungry.

#89) Friday, August 12, 2005
*Ranch. damn typos.

#90) Friday, August 12, 2005
For no reason, lets hear it for the biggest asshole who ever was in baseball: Billy Martin.

" Zack Greinke of the KC Royals is at 14 losses right now. Billy Martin logic would be: stick him in tie situations and have him keep pitching until he gives up a lead (or tell the team to botch some fielding and hitting). But there was only one man on the planet who would do that, and his name was Billy Martin. If Billy was at the helm, the guy would probably have 30 losses by now."

Post # 19.

#91) Monday, August 15, 2005
What the hell is going on in this blog?

#92) Friday, August 12, 2005

eat cheese.

#93) Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Every school had its Farter. We just ran away laughing when it happened during sit-ups.

I could tell a million fart stories, but that's for another time.

Or is it? It was 7th grade at Gregory Middle School in Ms. Martins English class (?Ms.? cause she hated her ex-husband & all men). Some fat blonde haired girl named either Jennifer or Lisa, with stringy long blonde hair decided one day while wearing a pink mini-skirt (skanky even by 1991 hooker standards) to spread her legs wide open like the Grand Canyon under her desk. I happened to turn my head around at that very moment by talking to a classmate seated behind me. My wandering heterosexual eyes saw her legs and went "whoa, look at that!" and then literally seconds later, laid a big loud ear-piercing fart during work time. She was never seen in school after that day.

Ugly ol ho.

#94) Thursday, August 18, 2005
I don't see "cheese" in that high-end graph with its vigorous production values.

**Shameless plug**

Here's some boobies, tho I'm not really a boobs fan.


and some more:

( . ) ( . )

and some more:

( o )( o )

and some more:

( (____) )$( (____) )

#95) Monday, August 22, 2005
She sucked when she hosted SNL.

#96) Friday, August 19, 2005
I don't like Mia Hamm. Tell her stupid husband to go play shortstop on the LA Dodgers or some other SoCal team like they planned when they got married for their "West Coast Life Together".

Not that I don't enjoy Nomar getting injured or sucking while on the Cubs, but from being the most popular Boston Red Sox since Ted Williams but getting traded to the Cubs (and the Red Sox win their first World Championship since 1912) and now rotting in Wrigley Field, he needs a fresh start away from the most horrible team and cursed team in sports.

Nomar, just get the hell away from Wrigley. It's killing ya. You haven't played a full season since like 2003. **cough cough STEROID USER!! **cough cough**. Just another causality of a premier superstar breaking down since MLB clamped down on steroid testing.

And back to topic, I think Gatorade is a wonderful drink and I'd drink it all the time if it was cheaper than beer, but I don't want to see over-paid athletes drink it on TV and sweat it in a psychedelic fashion.

And soccer sucks.

#97) Tuesday, August 23, 2005
You mean a "chew toy" for you, Chompy. Seriously and honestly, you'd kill that puppy, wouldn't you? You'd rip it to shreds, drool and blow blood out of your nose while you laughed and chewed the puppy. Then you'd probably kick it around a bit, jump on it, growl at it, chew on it some more, then you'd get Master Mike to ditch the evidence somewhere.


#98) Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Good god, BU, you're still only 25?? I assumed you were older than me. Man do I feel old!

(Rolling Stones parody I've been working on for years. still not quite finished):

"You're so old, you're so oooooooold! / You're older than a fossil fuel / You're so old you're so old, old, old, you've got wrinkles on your moles?/ You're so old, you're so god damn old, you're so old old old you're so ooooooold!"

If anyone has some old-reference lyrics, thatd be great.

As for birthdays, I haven't celebrated mine in like 9 years. A joke I heard from the horrible / awful television show "Wings":

Antonio: "We-ah dont-ah celebrate birth-a-days in my country.. it brings us one day closer to death."

I don't know. To me, birthdays when I was young were all about getting cake, the new Calvin & Hobbes / Fox Trot books, some sports shirts and a fattening dinner. Once I got older I just felt embarrassed to be the center of attention for a day. Plus I could never have a party because A) itd be a sausage fest and B) my friends couldn't stand my other friends.

Does Denny?s still give you a free bday dinner even if you?re a cheapskate adult? I couldn?t face that scene, man.

#99) Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Yep, another Calvin & Hobbes all-time favorite strip fan here too. I got every single "regular" book, 1st edition. I got the first one on Xmas in 1987, and man is it dog-eared.

I remember when he went on like an 18-month vacation from like 1992 to mid-1993. It was a very depressing time. A few more years of Calvin & Hobbes would have been great. Losing Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side on the same New Years day was rough. It was barely around for like 12 years. I don't know how shit like Blondie, Dickless Tracy, Hi & Lois, Frazz, Fox Trot, Beetle Bailey, Family Circus, Baby Blues (which just makes my bowels explode) Brenda Starr and dozens of others are still around.

The only strips I enjoy are the Boondocks, Doonesbury, Dilbert (even tho I'm not white collar), Shoe, Zits (tho not anymore) Prickly City (the one with the Democrat coyote and the Republican black or mexican girl in the desert), Mister Buffo, Get Fuzzy (that cat is such a cruel asshole!) and the 3rd incarnation of Bloom County.

And don't get me started on that Canadian comic strip. Btw, the ?April? character is completely imaginary, so I don?t know where Lynn Johnston is getting all of her ?youth? images unless she?s prowling around town begging to hang out with some cool kids or is dropping acid.

And the other Garfield cartoon was ?U.S. Acres? which was filler-material at best. To me, the worst was that stupid loud sheep who was a lesbian gym teacher and her surfer-brother. Lots of waves on the farm.

And what I always found amusing about Garfield is that Jim Davis? wife is deathly allergic to cats, so when he married her, he had to get rid of all of his cats who he loved. >^.^<

I of course have my own crudely drawn comic strips on my website, all drawn on high-quality notebook paper in pencil drawn in high school classes with plently of teen rage.

#100) Wednesday, August 24, 2005
You have any idea how crazy my classmates thought I was when I passed my comics around? I drew all that stuff before "South Park" came out & lowered the bar of tastefulness.

And the ironic thing is, I never drew in anger, yet people always assumed I did :D

#101) Thursday, August 25, 2005
Cliff Huxtable: Oh,oh-oh! You see, the kids these days, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the BRAIN damage. With the hippin and the hoppin and the bippin and the boppin, they don't know what the JAZZ is all about! Ysee, jazz is like Jello pudding... no, that's not it. Jazz is like Kodak film... no, that's not right neither. I've got it, jazz is like the new Coke - it'll be around forever. HEH HEH."

Oh Swing Music is so out. It's gone, it's DEAD. And it's a pretty well known secret that only women like to dance.

#102) Friday, August 26, 2005
All I can say, it feels great to be appreciated :)

And I don't use ATMs anymore. Here comes another story!

During my young adult years, I was out one night driving around town. I needed some cash for a late night snack (specifically, a large order of cheese fries from Steak n Shake; open 24 Hours, my preference cravings of the time.) I pull up to the ATM at my bank to avoid service charges, and the damn machine eats my damn card. Apparently, I found out that it was no longer good, despite me using it for the past 3 months; the bank never sent me a statement. I found out a few months later that I was "due" for a new card but never had gotten * the * statement to renew it. Long story short, I never got a proper notice or a new card. So to this day, I refuse to use an ATM card.

[Kramer is at the County Blood Bank.]
Kramer: My service rates went up? You banks are all the same with your hidden fees and your service charges. Well, maybe I'll just take my blood elsewhere, yeah.
Bank employee: Well, we can transfer to another bank for you.
Kramer: Oh, no no more banks. I'm keeping my blood in my freezer money!!

On a similar topic, while helping a friend move from her apartment, she needed some cash from an ATM outside at a local Dominicks grocery store, and the damn machine refused. So I spat all over the machine & the camera. I received a koodos's from the friend. We ended up going inside to transact some business within the other bank within the store.

Banks. Pfffff.

#103) Friday, August 26, 2005
Excuse me??

#104) Monday, August 29, 2005
And you people complain about MY stories!

#105) Friday, August 26, 2005
How would you like it if someone said to you two, "Hey! There's something wrong with YOU!"

#106) Thursday, November 03, 2005
Yeah I saw the crazy Christian lady. I wonder how she broke her front tooth off. Maybe from eating a lobster whole or something.

Those hippies had a really nice house.

"I am a God Warrior!!!"