Friday, June 11, 2010

Friday Fragments

advocating getting knocked down rather than knocked up since 1962

♠ It's proposal season at work, and my advancing years at the company mean that I actually have to get involved this time around, so website updates may occasionally fall back on a clip show over the next couple of weeks. I do feel good about my proposal skills though, since the last effort I was involved in went off without a hitch, or maybe with a hitch.

♠ Government contract proposals would be much more interesting if the competing companies could face off in a Survivor-style challenge, with last company standing receiving the contract. Something like "The Bachelor" might also be interesting, but would probably lead to bad SEC-like publicity.

♠ Speaking of creatively bankrupt reality shows, Wednesday's TV section in the Post listed a show about spoiled wives, followed by bridal weight loss and a woman who gave birth on a boat without knowing she was pregnant. As a bonus, there was also a show about finding worms in places you'd never imagine.

♠ Personally, if there were worms in places I'd never, ever expect worms to reside, I think I would be okay with never, ever discovering that they are there. It's the same blinder mentality that allows me to be okay with that senior guy at the office who never washes his hands after urinal usage -- I don't really need to know what he's touching after he leaves as long as I remember never to greet him with a handshake.

♠ I am generally a handshake greeter by default, but have found that being married requires you to convert into a social hugger. Apparently, it isn't seemly for a single guy to hug other people's wives, but it's quite alright to lay the foundations for a swingers' club and hug all the women once you're married.

♠ Plans for this 12 of 12 weekend include the wedding of one of Rebecca's cousins in Alexandria, a hike up Old Rag, and a mortar mix of overtime work cementing everything together. There may also be a Caption Contest coming up next week to whet the wit of my readers who've been left with half-assed entries for much of the past two weeks (and this trend is not likely to lessen while I'm in on-the-job training next week).

♠ Have a great weekend!

Big Cats Obsess Over Calvin Klein's 'Obsession for Men'
Lightning Kills Tenn. Woman Before Proposal
Restaurant tells eaters to eat up or else

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