Thursday, February 26, 2009

Weird Search Day

or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"

  • fat amputee females wearing peglegs
    I hope this guy eventually found true love through his fetish, and I also hope her name was Peggy.

  • jennifer garner wearing waders

    After retiring from the Hollywood scene several years ago, Jennifer Garner returned to idyllic West Virginia where she taught Ben Affleck how to fly fish.

  • shimmy classes in Sterling, Va
    A good instructional video for learning how to shimmy might be the music video to The Salmon Dance.

  • An Asian chick has sex with an African tribesman. She's lucky they didn't eat her for dinner! haha...
    This search originated in Thailand. I think this is the perfect place to employ the video game ellipses: ". . ."

  • shadiest muppet

    The shadiest muppet is defintely Lew Zealand. The mustache is obviously fake, he's dressed like a dandy and he caught a fish without wearing any waders. He's obviously up to no good.

  • sex + potato + 2009 + dry + icicle + images
    I can't even begin to fathom what sort of sexual tricks you can perform with a potato and a dry icicle.

  • did kids pin pet chameleons to their shirt?
    Only if the teachers wanted to make sure that the bloody chameleons got to the parents successfully.

  • my wife says it's best to put our teenage son into chasity belt
    I'm not exactly sure how a male chastity belt would work. It seems like things would get very squished down there.

  • free sexy female wrestling catfighting spandex pics

  • worlds funniest fidller crab videos
    Rumour has it that Pixar is creating a new animated adventure about a fiddler crab. They're going to call it Finding Nero.

  • math jokes about bouncing breasts
    I presume that the subject of these jokes will be bisectual.

  • roanoke sluts
    This search was probably done by the same guy who was looking for nude girls in Christiansburg last month.

  • choose your own adventure breast expansion story
    You stand outside the Glamory Mammary with the coupon in your hand, unsure about what to do next, and whether you want to proceed at all. A light drizzle taps on your tiny bosom like perspiration from the heavens.

    If you wish to upgrade to FF, turn to page 132.
    If you wish to upgrade to D, turn to page 96.
    If your self-esteem has not yet bottomed out and you wish to return home, turn to page 24.

  • blood elf nude with mana wyrm

    I'll leave the "nude" part to the imagination, but I would imagine that you'd probably want to be wearing some armor when fighting a mana wyrm.

  • mowable marijuana
    This would be the perfect answer if you were playing Scattergories and the category was "Great Ideas for Entrepreneurs". Two points, bitches!

  • what is the favourite car of a greek mythologist
    Everyone knows that cars are named after Roman gods like Saturn, not Greek gods like Hymen. Because of this, the only car a greek mythologist would buy would be the Uranus, because this god has the same (unfortunate) name in both Greek and Roman worlds.

  • Happy Birthday to my Dad and Jim Barry!

    Strange fish has see-through head
    Injured Good Samaritan ticketed for jaywalking
    Stay married to save the planet

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