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  1. Wednesday, September 01, 2010:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     what did the costco thief in herndon steal?  Is this a riddle? He probably stole your sense of entitlement and high HOA fees (in bulk).     "african boobies" -saggy -droopy -ugly      Everyone knows that boobies are indigenous to the Pacific Ocean, so any you find in Africa must be on holiday.     greek mythologist salary  This soun...
  2. Wednesday, June 02, 2010:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"    It's time for another round of strange Google keyword searches that lead to my site. All of these searches were actually performed by peculiar people over the last couple of months.    did totino's change their recipe there are no seeds in it  At least on the East Coast, Totino's pizzas still have seasoning seeds on them. The only noticeable change is that the packaging now tells you to cook the p...
  3. Wednesday, February 17, 2010:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"      alligator coverall mario     In his alligator suit, Mario can eat enemies, flip Luigi to higher platforms on his snout, and turn into the Princess when the temperature drops below 86 degrees Farenheit.     "spanish poem" about the virginia tech  Because I don't speak Spanish, here's one in French instead. Note that it actually rhymes.     J'aime al...
  4. Wednesday, December 02, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     catchy captions for heat capacity          what chapter does it talk about jem and the lightpole?  This dialogue actually takes place in Chapter One of the ghost-written autobiography. In Chapter Two, technology advances sufficiently enough to allow the lightpole to diffuse the light, and by Chapter Three, the Holograms are complete.     news abou...
  5. Wednesday, September 23, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     applebees operational flow charts  Applebee's is a shallow organizational structure, with the bulk of employees reporting directly to Mr. Applebee. In the event of the catastrophic loss of the CEO, the strongest employees will have a food fight to determine who will succeed him. My money is on the server armed with "con sizzle".     Reston Town Center drug dealer  I highly doubt t...
  6. Wednesday, August 26, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     how to make gangster hats out of construction paper    Start with a ribbed paper plate (for your pleasure) and paint it completely black for the brim. Roll a piece of grey construction paper into a cylinder (or a Moebius strip if you are a savvy gangster that isn't quite what he seems). Secure with tape or gum.     pepco prostitution ring  A prostitution ring at the hi...
  7. Wednesday, July 29, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"    Today is Mike's (of Mike's and Chompy's) lucky day, since the number of strange Google searches are increasing exponentially, and leaving enough search terms for more than one Weird Search Day this month!    frottage in wave pool  It seems almost oxymoronic to have dry humping in the water, not to mention dangerous, since you might be in flagrante when struck by a fat kid on an inner-tube. This is...
  8. Thursday, July 16, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"     who sings i see you baby shakin dat ass  Groove Armada sings this instant classic, and the  Fatboy Slim remix  ranks very high on the "Worst Songs in the World Not Sung By TATU" scale.     piece of food is stuck between my esophagus and windpipe uncomfortable   Apparently, this unfortunate searcher was unlucky enough to get a piece of food directly between two t...
  9. Monday, June 08, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     kim bauer useless          what temp does a fire blanket get up to on a frystation  It starts innocently, with this entry level McDonald's employee throwing things on the deep fat fryer. Before you know it, he's starting wildfires in Australia.     "statement of work" for a camping trip    Scope of Work : to live and sle...
  10. Thursday, April 09, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     hokie mascot hire for weddings    For a limited time, you can have the Hokie Guy officiate your wedding for only $3999.95. (Hokie Pokie not included in the base price).     ben stiller inpersonal of josquin phoenix  It's possible that you were searching for  Ben Stiller impersonates Joaquin Phoenix , although I wouldn't put it past Ben Stiller to make a biograp...
  11. Thursday, February 26, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"     fat amputee females wearing peglegs  I hope this guy eventually found true love through his fetish, and I also hope her name was Peggy.     jennifer garner wearing waders     After retiring from the Hollywood scene several years ago, Jennifer Garner returned to idyllic West Virginia where she taught Ben Affleck how to fly fish.     shimmy classe...
  12. Thursday, January 08, 2009:
    Weird Search Day  or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"        Pee Pee Galore  This is the name of the Bond girl in the childrens' adaptation of  Goldfinger .     dreaming of kissing a coworker  Last year, I wrote an article in which I did NOT  kiss any coworkers , which probably wasn't much help to this lovelorn daydreamer. He or she should probably submit a story to the newly reopened  Today at Work  site, ...
  13. Monday, December 08, 2008:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"    Those strange Google searches just keep on pouring in. Here's the latest batch and my attempts at fulfillment.    TWO REDHEADS BENT OVER        clothing optional sterling va  I think I'll include this clause in all future party invitations I send out (at least, for the women invitees).      rideable hippo  Experienced hippo ri...
  14. Thursday, October 23, 2008:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"    Here is the most recent collection of weird search terms for the site. Though the original searchers may have left feeling unfulfilled, future searchers will no doubt be satisfied by my attempts to providing meaningful results.    malcolm in the middle sleep shirtless   I've gotten a scary number of repeat hits for this search, which was featured in the previous edition of Weird Search Day. I had...
  15. Thursday, September 04, 2008:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"    I thought it would take a few months before I had another worthy batch of search engine queries to post, but less than two weeks have passed since the previous installment and the denizens of the Internet have already proven their disturbing natures. Here are 7 real search engine queries that led the unwitting curious to my page. Since this post will now draw more readers interested in the same subjects, I've done what I can...
  16. Friday, August 22, 2008:
    Friday Foraging  I front-loaded this two-week pay period with additional hours working last weekend, which allowed me to take today off without using up any leave. Front-loading is a highly recommended practice since it results in free vacation days, and since rear-loading just sounds dirty.   I'll be spending today watching the second season of  Dexter  and working on a top secret website project codenamed BUVite. Rather than toss out a Fragments column today, I decided that I would p...
 

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