Wednesday, October 11, 2006

All About Me


I am Brian. I like to go to the swimming pool. I like to watch TV -- especially Batman. I like to go to my firend, Megan's, house. I like to go on vacation to the fun places. The fun places are just south of the border on I-95 and also in my pants. My grandpa has a garden. He lives in Michigan. I play with the cat there and probably got fecal cat disease from all the times it scratched me because it was an outdoor cat and never had its nails cut. I like the scarecrow (which apparently is a mutation-cross between a bald eagle, a manatee, and a operatic soprano in an evening dress) and the corn.

I like to ride my bike every night. It has training wheels. I like to make tracks with it. I like to do stunts. One time I barrelled down a hill over the curb and jumped a Yugo. I like to make skid marks with it. The wheels were made of plastic, and if you keep making skid marks with plastic wheels eventually you don't have any wheels left. I keep my bike by the table. He Man rocks.

My dad's painting the house. The sun is saying "Hi". I am saying "Hi". My mom is saying "Hi". My dad is saying "Hi". My sister is saying "Hi". This is what's known in the "biz" as a "hi five". We cut roses together. We have to fix the chimney because only one puff of smoke is coming out. Obviously the fact that the house is holding all the smoke in is the reason the entire family is "hi".

This is my kitchen. I like to eat these foods. Actually bananas suck. Yellow milk sucks. Pears suck but not as much as peaches. Olives are key. I like to help my mom wash the dishes. I like to help my mom cook. I get the things out. I like to sit at the table and wait for dinner. Sometimes if I'm good my parents give me dinner every day and I don't have to fight the rats for it.

I like to wait at the bus stop. We always talk about things. I like to meet my friends there. I went to kindergarten at the M.C. Escher School of Design. It was guarded by camouflage alligators that disguised themselves as trucks. That's how my friend, Paul, got eaten. He thought his dad had come to pick him up.

My house always has lots of birds around it. My dad doesn't like dogs barking. We help cut the flowers. We spray the birds' nests so those avian scavengers of the suburbs don't come knocking around here. This page is just like the page about my family except that I moved into a multi-story hotel, painted blue. I like blue.

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