Posts Tagged as mock mock

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  1. Monday, September 09, 2019:
    Bad Book Day  We regularly get hand-me-downs through the ad hoc donation pipelines that magically spring up when you have a child. While this works wonderfully for clothes (I'm pretty sure we've never bought Maia a new outfit ever), it's less effective for books. The books that get donated by our friends tend to be the worst of the worst, like Rebecca's favourite about a pig that practices surfing on a surfboard on the beach and then magically surfs in the ocean and goes home satisfied.   One of the worst offenders in my opinion is the "first reader" series for Pete the Cat. There are more of these books than there are Family Circus paperbacks and they possess comparable literary qualities. Take, for example,  Pete the Cat and the...
  2. Thursday, March 17, 2016:
    Fallout from Metro's Emergency Safety Inspection   div.tweet { background-color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #e1e8ed; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; line-height: 1.375em; max-width: 590px; } div.tweetHead { background: url('/images/news/16/03/17-01.png') no-repeat #ffffff; color: #8899a6; font-size: 13px; height: 46px; line-height: 14px; padding: 9px 0px 0px 166px; white-space: nowrap; width: 300px; } div.tweetContents { color: #292f33; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 22px; margin: -19px 5px 5px 64px; } div.tweetContents img { border-radius: 4px; height: auto; width: 100%; } div.tweetContents s { color: #b58b8b; text-decoration: none; } div.tweetCon...
  3. Friday, July 25, 2014:
    Are You Ready for the Silver Line?   A sneak peek at the  Twitter Feed  of the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority       div.tweet { background-color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #e1e8ed; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Roboto",sans-serif; line-height: 1.375em; max-width: 590px; } div.tweetHead { background: url('/images/news/14/07/25-01.png') no-repeat #ffffff; color: #8899a6; font-size: 13px; height: 39px; line-height: 14px; padding: 16px 0px 0px 170px; white-space: nowrap; width: 300px; } div.retweetHead { background: url('/images/news/14/07/25-03.png') no-repeat #ffffff; color: #8899a6; font-size: 13px; height: 43px; line-height: 14px; margin-...
  4. Monday, February 25, 2013:
    Weekend Wrap-up: Luma Theater of Light   In lieu of the usual holiday party at a local hotel bar, my company did something a little different on Saturday night, apparently stressed out that they would have to top the awesome Air and Space Museum gala they held last summer. The evening's entertainment was "Luma Theater" at the Strathmore in Bethesda, with our free tickets normally running over $30.   The show was disappointing, starting from the forty minutes we sat on the road outside the venue while Obama's motorcade departed from the previous event, denying us the mingling and libation time that would have greatly improved the Luma portion of the evening. After arriving in our free seats at the back of the theater, we became inured to a two hour show inv...
  5. Friday, November 09, 2012:
    2012 Election Recap    In case you missed my live-blogging of the 2012 Election on Facebook last Tuesday, here is a transcript. I tried to include a little something for everyone, regardless of their politics:    div.fbBox { background-color: #ffffff; border-color: #ced6e7; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; font-family: 'Tahoma'; font-size: 10pt; margin: 4px; padding: 5px; -moz-border-radius: 6px; border-radius: 6px; } div.fbTime { color: #999999; margin-bottom: 5px; text-decoration: underline; } div.fbLikes { background-color: #edeff4; font-size: 8pt; padding: 2px; margin-top: 5px; }     7:00 PM  Breaking News: Voter fraud suspected as irate Hunting...
  6. Friday, October 19, 2012:
    Mashup Day: Doogie Howsereen, M.D.   Have you ever been sifting through your extensive music collection in search of Halloween music and stumbled across the theme from the Halloween movies? Did you then lament the fact that no one had ever made a mashup combining it with the theme from Doogie Howser, M.D.? Happens to me all of the time.      Listen to Doogie Howsereen, M.D.   (2:00 MP3)      This is why people with otherwise useless music degrees are an integral slipknot in the weave of today's society.  
  7. Wednesday, August 24, 2011:
    Aftermath Day  In the aftermath of the 5.9 magnitude earthquake which tore through our simple town like a dotted line on Tuesday afternoon, I thought it best to capture some of the destruction on my camera, just in case I have problems with insurance agents later on. Thankfully, everyone is okay, but the amount of structural damage caused by this event is obscene.   A sinkhole to hell, or possibly Petropavlovsk, has opened up in the kitchen:     Sewage has backed up into the basement, and looting is rampant in the neighbourhood:     Rebecca lost her right leg and eye from falling debris, which is severely impacting her study habits. In addition, Andy Richter has inexplicably arrived in our livin...
  8. Tuesday, April 21, 2009:
    Newsday Tuesday  Rainy Weather Forecasts Misunderstood by Many          To bring an umbrella or not to bring an umbrella? That's the perennial question on those days where the chance of rain is less than 100 percent. But only half the population understands what a precipitation forecast means well enough to make a fully informed answer, a new study finds.        If, for example, a forecast calls for a 20 percent chance of rain, many people think it means that it will rain over 20 percent of the area covered by the forecast. Others think it will rain for 20 percent of the time, said Susan Joslyn, a cognitive psychologist at the University of Washington.    ...
  9. Wednesday, January 21, 2009:
    LOST Recap Day   this post contains spoilers from last season's LOST finale    The fifth season of LOST begins tonight at 8, and it's hard to believe that almost eight months have passed since the last one ended. If you find yourself blurry on the details of the fourth season, you should start with my old  LOLLOST  feature, before catching up on the final two-hour episode below.        As a tribute to Charlie Pace, Jin and Michael blow up all the remaining heroin on the island.        Sayid shows off other fighting techniques learned in the Republican Guard, such as the Gopher Surprise.        The writers take advantage o...
  10. Thursday, November 20, 2008:
    Silly Ratings Day   In an effort to provide some transparency in the game-rating process, the  Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB)  has started including brief overviews of each reviewed game on its website. You can now see  why  games were given a particular rating, and just what exactly the term "comic mischief" means.  To assist parents in their search for kid-safe games, the website also allows you to search for games by game content. Although their hearts are in the right place, this search engine of naughty behaviours is more useful as a time-wasting tool for the immature (such as myself), or as a free advertisement to a teenager who reads about the latest zombie game where  "Enemies' heads and limbs are ...
  11. Tuesday, September 09, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday   Spies get social network as CIA, FBI promote their version of Facebook         At long last, US intelligence agencies have created a new system of sharing their information with one another to prevent another terrorist attack. And it's a lot like Facebook.    Developers were quick to point out that their network would be based on the useful "classic" Facebook, and not the usability-inhibited patchwork of coloured squares and advertisements pinked together to form the New Facebook, which many users still have difficulty accepting as canon (see also, New Coke and The New Testament).      Not to be left out of the social networking action, the FBI, C...
  12. Wednesday, August 27, 2008:
    Audience Participation Day   I've posted in the past about  how bad the Family Circus has become  over the course of forty-eight years worth of cartoons. It's not its fault, necessarily -- if I ever make it to fifty years of daily updates on my website, I'm sure I'll be just as bad as Family Circus, relying on repetitive jokes about how cool the Internet is or how Daddy might be a pedophile.   In fifty years, I'll be seventy-eight with hands crippled by Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and the remnants of my mental acuity puddled in my sinuses, having melted away from the daily grind of finding new ways to print HELLO WORLD on my screen. Like Bil Keane, my posts will be dictated to my son, Thor, who will do the inking and the typing himself. Roug...
  13. Wednesday, August 20, 2008:
    Game Day    There seems to be a recent makeover frenzy surrounding classic board games deemed too slow-paced or spiffy for modern audiences. The latest casualty of this is everyone's favourite game,  Clue . From the cosmetic side, the staid British guests are replaced with a movie star and a football player among others, while the lead pipe has been dropped for the equally logical "set of dumbbells" (which is apparently easier to find in a spa or a home theatre).   Because kids today have the attention spans of fruit flies with cancer,  Clue  is now shorter, with the guests having special superhero powers to help solve the murder faster. Other cards have the possibility of eliminating players as suspects com...
  14. Tuesday, July 29, 2008:
    Ethics Day  As part of an annual recertification at work, every employee must take an online course in Business Ethics. Because the denizens of the URI! Zone are a shady bunch, these highlights might be helpful in your own lives.       Socially aware customers are generally white, blonde, female, and braless (which raises two other ethical points, but only when it's cold outside).      Mimi is obviously more concerned with the fact that her coworker is a total tool-face.      In the corporate culture, the secret handshake generally requires you to slip exactly $427 in bribes as suavely as possible.    In this example, Marty wonders w...
  15. Tuesday, July 22, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday   A dash of lime -- a new twist that may cut CO2 levels back to pre-industrial levels             Scientists say they have found a workable way of reducing CO2 levels in the atmosphere by adding lime to seawater. And they think it has the potential to dramatically reverse CO2 accumulation in the atmosphere... Shell is so impressed with the new approach that it is funding an investigation into its economic feasibility.   There's nothing like the backing of a gigantic oil company that posted a $9 billion net income in the first quarter of 2008 to convince the world that your environmental idea is a good one. Not only does Shell think it's a great idea, they're act...
  16. Tuesday, June 17, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday   When a wimpy bird turns into a stud        Rebecca Safran has fooled Mother Nature. The evolutionary biologist from the University of Colorado figured out a way to give male barn swallows a makeover that makes less popular males much more desirable to females.    Ms. Safran has already sold the results of her research to ABC, who will market it in the Fall 2008 television line-up starring Ty Pennington. The FOX Network is rumoured to be developing their own show in tandem,  Who Wants To Get Humped By This Bird? , which they say was independently inspired and produced.   About eight years ago, Safran expected to find that the length of a male barn swa...
  17. Wednesday, June 04, 2008:
    Poetry Day   a line analysis of classic poetry     Waiting for Christmas  by BU (age 5)    I cicles hang at Christmas.   The author is metaphorically referring to the silver tinsel which adorns the tree. Real icicles are not cost-effective for indoor tree decoration, given their tendency to melt.   They are  L ovely to.   Some scholars argue that this line is incomplete, and believe that the missing words are either "eat" or "poop on". Detractors of the theory suggest that the author was a horrible speller. Proponents of incompleteness notes that every misspelling the author has ever made has been intentional, for satirical purposes....
  18. Thursday, May 29, 2008:
    LOST Recap Day   this post contains spoilers from previously-aired episodes of LOST (season four)   With so many complex timelines and unsolved mysteries, it's often difficult to keep track of everything that has happened so far on LOST. As a public service, here is a summary of the most important plot developments from this season so you are prepared for the upcoming season finale. A special LOLCAT format has been used for ease of understanding.   Episode 1: The Beginning of the End      Episode 2: Confirmed Dead      Episode 3: The Economist      Episode 4: Eggtown      Episode 5: The Constant&nb...
  19. Tuesday, May 20, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday   Robot digger set to land Sunday at Martian pole       Like a miner prospecting for gold, NASA hopes its latest robot to Mars hits pay dirt when it lands Sunday near the red planet's north pole to conduct a 90-day digging mission. The three-legged Phoenix Mars lander . . . is zeroing in on the unexplored arctic region where a reservoir of ice is believed to lie beneath the Martian surface.   To be clear, the article is not saying Phoenix is a gold digger, but it's not messing around in a region where it won't find anything. This type of colourful simile is common in stories that NASA wants to excite the public mind.   Phoenix lacks the tools to detect signs of alien life...
  20. Tuesday, May 06, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday  The Silver Line, which provides Northern Virginia with its own brand of Ross-and-Rachel drama, is back on the table again after yet another reversal of federal funding    . The goal of this project is to connect the region's only major International airport 1  with its inadequate Metro system so travelers don't have to use the inappropriately-named Washington Flyer taxi monopoly, which never travels at more than 45 miles per hour when the meter is running.   With all of their resources devoted to getting this built, the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority has spent surprisingly little time figuring out how to make it profitable in the coming years. Instead of targeting penny-pinching fore...
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