Posts tagged as media
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- Tuesday, August 17, 2010:
Stuff In My Drawers Day Work was needlessly hectic last night, preventing me from writing a Museday excerpt. So in its place, here is a map I created in November of 1986 when I was 7. E=mc2? Not on Conservapedia Aboriginal elder leads police to body -- but wrong one Ala. man gets lost school ring back after 14 years - Friday, July 30, 2010:
End-of-the-Month Media Day New pictures have been added to the Life, 2010 album and the West Coast Vacation, 2010 album. Enjoy! Fairfax principal apologizes for weight-loss ads Cheeseburger found in gas tank Firefighters dismantle police car to rescue kitten - Wednesday, June 30, 2010:
End-of-the-Month Media Day I've added this month's new photos to my Picasa album . Congratulations on surviving for the first half of 2010 without bankruptcy, kidney failure, or severe disfigurement! May the second half be just as magical. Trapped drunk driver pops another one School district tests rife with errors Library to use shame as a porn repellant - Friday, May 28, 2010:
End-of-the-Month Media Day I've added new photos to the Life, 2010 album, and only 6 of them include Booty! Mark Twain exposé to hit stores this year Executives out of ideas, want to reboot Alias Video Gamers Can Control Dreams, Study Suggests - Wednesday, May 05, 2010:
Stuff in My Drawers Day: Mnemonics How do you teach a bunch of remedial freshman musicians, most of them theatre majors and trumpeters, to hear standalone intervals? Here are the listening examples I taught in my MUT1241 class in 2003. Ascending Intervals Descending Intervals minor second: major second: minor third: major third: perfect fourth: aug... - Friday, April 23, 2010:
Friday Fragments: Photo Edition Lazy Needs shelf space Mowed Reading Cute Released Thawing Delicious Prostitute propositions police chief &... - Wednesday, March 17, 2010:
Green Media Day Pictures from our recent trip from Puerto Rico, as well as older pictures from snOMG can now be found on the Photos page. We did not get a picture of the ramshackle bar in Fajardo (a city which sounds unfortunately close to "hard on") which was named "DRINKERS Irish Pub" and adorned with a Spanish leprechaun, but it would have been appropriate for today's holiday. One of these days, I'll get around to writing more about Puerto Rico, but this ... - Wednesday, February 24, 2010:
Stuff in My Drawers Day It was around September of 1988 when I decided I could invent games just as cool as Infocom text-adventure games by drawing mazes on paper, and this was the first one I ever did. I now have a folder of over fifty, a mix of traditional mazes, Infocom box-style maps, and other images, and my fourth grade compatriots would crowd around the lunch table going through my mazes while I directed the action. None of us had ever heard or played Dungeons and Dragons (and to this day, I've... - Wednesday, February 03, 2010:
Vocabulary Day learning words the first grader way Here is Ken. I never actually knew anyone named Ken, but based on his crippled flamingo physique, I'm guessing that he would have been that friend who came to houses only to find all the lights off and the occupants scarcely daring to breathe in the foyer, hoping he'll go away. Ken and Beth can swing. If you don't know... - Wednesday, January 27, 2010:
Classic Cat Video Day Remember the halcyon days of 2003 when I posted ten to twelve artistic cat videos every two hours in lieu of more meaningful updates? Because they were always so well received, I have pulled six of the better ones out of obscurity and elevated them to immortality through YouTube. Enjoy! Kitty learns to sing, January 2004 ... - Wednesday, January 06, 2010:
Roadtrip Day: New Year's in Columbus Like most people's hair, the road to Columbus is boringly straight -- the perfect environment for speed-trapping policemen, had the impromptu ice storm that morning not forced them all to deal with real accidents like flipped SUVs instead. We spent the New Year's weekend at the apartment of Rebecca's friend from college, Elisa, who's doing grad work at OSU. On New Year's Eve, we made shrimp pasta and drank trace amounts of al... - Thursday, December 31, 2009:
End-of-the-Year Leftovers based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Here are four provocative pictures that I just couldn't come up with captions for. See what you can come up with yourself while Rebecca and I go on a roadtrip for the next few days! Daily updates will resume on Tuesday, January 5. Happy New Year! Bad Moves thwart truck heist World's fastest train ... - Wednesday, December 30, 2009:
2009 in Review, Part III of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Old Pictures of the Year : 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 Accused shoplifters cause chaos at Walmart Funeral home offers free burial to drunk drivers Giant Swedish Christmas goat gets torched - Tuesday, December 29, 2009:
2009 in Review, Part II of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Old Pictures of the Year : 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 Man impaled with knife orders coffee Escaped convict continues to update Facebook Donkeys escape from nativity scene - Monday, December 28, 2009:
2009 in Review, Part I of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Old Pictures of the Year : 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 War-torn 'nursery' hopes to send monkeys to Mars Boy Hands Out Grandparent's Cash On Bus Search of car turns up gift-wrapped marijuana - Thursday, December 24, 2009:
- Friday, October 23, 2009:
Media Day See pictures from our Honeymoon See Sam Edwards' pictures from our Wedding See Florie Spellerberg's pictures from our Wedding The official wedding pictures should be uploaded in the next couple of weeks! - Wednesday, September 30, 2009:
End-of-the-Month Media Day See new Cat Pictures See new September Pictures See new Baby Pictures Shoppers liberate giant lobster Woman pulls gun on cop as chihuahua deal goes bad Judge rules that cows might not have even been puzzled - Wednesday, September 16, 2009:
Stuff in My Drawers Day "The Man with a Pan", or "Why You Shouldn't Count On Sixth Graders to Write Worthwhile Childrens' Books" That little spindle fiber on the word Virginia is apparently a mouse. There's one mouse in each picture, not unlike the higher quality book, Goodnight Moon. I started the book with half of a couplet on each page. This soon became too ambitious, as you shall see. ... - Tuesday, September 15, 2009:
Birth Day Grizzly bear gets swimming lessons Schoolchildren send Marcus the lamb to slaughter Arizona not monkeying around with masked speeder - Friday, August 28, 2009:
End-of-the-Month Media Day There really aren't enough new pictures to warrant a media day this month, but I'm in the midst of a middle school band website project and didn't have the energy to concoct a Fragments column today. Besides, you can really only have one creative outlet at any given time, or all of them will suffer (see also, Alias season 3, when JJ went off to do Mission Impossible 3). See Maryrose Baptism photos S... - Wednesday, August 19, 2009:
Memory Day: Old Snapshots This is my old friend, Daniel Bethancourt, at our Sixth Grade graduation in June 1990. Sixth grade graduations are necessary milestones in today's society, since half of the class abruptly drops out immediately after to become car mechanics and air conditioning repair boys. Daniel moved to the West Coast immediately after sixth grade, and I've only seen him once since then -- he is now Father Daniel at an Orthodox Christian parish in Lousiana. &... - Monday, August 10, 2009:
Baby Day real life scenes from the most recent baptism and after party Gun found on obese inmate after 5 searches Man blame... - Friday, July 31, 2009:
End of the Month Media Day See Outer Banks Pictures See July Festivities Pictures See new Home Improvement Pictures See new Cat Pictures Happy end of July! Only 64 more days until I'm hitched! Woman finds 'stolen' Audi in neighbour's garage Man insists 'jungle monkey' is not r... - Friday, June 26, 2009:
End-of-the-Month Media Day See more Cat Pictures See more Ella Pictures See more Food Pictures See more May Festivities See more Maryrose Pictures This weekend, I'll be dropping off the cats at Grandma's house and heading to the Outer Banks and the "Shore Thing" beach house. A... - Wednesday, June 24, 2009:
Baby Day Update! Have a picture! Maryrose Faith Ahlbin, little sister of Ella was born yesterday at 2:13 PM. She was 8lbs 6oz and 21 inches long and the family is doing well! I had hoped to get some pictures by now, but there is a media blackout, probably because she, too, looks like Shirley Temple . Instead, here is a montage of Ella's first year in the world, to remind everyone of her cuteness, and so she doesn... - Wednesday, June 17, 2009:
Memory Fragment Media Day a triple threat of memories, old photos and fragments ♣ This picture was taken around 1991 at our powerful 486 computer with 5 1/4" drive, 3 1/2" drive, and tape drive. It had 256-color VGA and an Ad Lib card, but only 24 of the colors ever worked. I am playing Ultima 6, based on the hint book open in front of me. ♣ A wild party at Rosie and Jen's house in February 1998, wher... - Thursday, June 11, 2009:
T-Shirt Day Remember when I wore a bunch of hats ? This is kind of like that. This is the same shirt I wore at Disney World in yesterday's post. Evidently Boy Scouts have horrible design and colour picking skills. I guess that's what Girl Scouts are for! AMIRITE? All that artistic talent centralized in a single place for the summer and this is the best shirt they could come up with. In ot... - Thursday, June 04, 2009:
List Day: Four Children's Books You've Never Read The heartwarming tale of a little puppy who dreams of someday becoming a member of the LAPD K9 Unit. A cautionary tale of daddy's sexuality set against the backdrop of the Renaissance, when daddy is accosted by a charming dandy at the local tavern. A clever retelling of the classic Ugly Duckling tale, in which the ugly duckling's siblings post cruel remarks on her... - Wednesday, June 03, 2009:
Memory Day: Junior Year Awards Ceremony As if sitting through an elementary school assembly in a multipurpose gym/auditorium smelling of feet while kids were awarded for perfect attendance wasn't bad enough, the assemblies only got worse as the years went on. By the time I'd gotten to T.C. Williams High School, the awards program was fifteen pages long (16 with an addendum) and had awards for every class and every subject, as well as scholarships, Book Awards, and other ridiculous categories. Having a technical school on the pre... - Thursday, May 21, 2009:
Previously on LOST This post may contain spoilers from the previously aired season finale of LOST. Geometry has always played a role in LOST -- here we learn that the submarine cannot leave the island unless it travels at a bearing of 310 degrees, with its passengers sitting in the shape of a love triangle. After ten minutes aboard the sub, the characters change their minds and go back to the island, seriously pissing off the set guys who spent all that ... - Wednesday, May 20, 2009:
Maryland Day We arrived at the Back Creek Inn B&B around 10:30 on a stormy Sunday morning. The little detached building on the right was our private cottage. Evidently, sharing the road means running over pedestrians. Our cottage had a king-sized bed, gas fireplace, massaging tub, shower, fridge, and microwave. I had to bring my own woman though. From our screened porch, we could look ... - Monday, May 11, 2009:
Pup Day Introducing Jack and Kristy's new European lab puppy, Kiwi: We met Kiwi on Saturday night at their house, where we devoured delicious barbeque chicken and pasta salad, after which I came in 2nd in an impromptu game of $5 poker. I gave my winnings to Rebecca, who used it to buy a wedding dress. Don't forget that tomorrow is 12 of 12 ! Hispanic Wal-mart looks pretty much like a Wal-mart &n... - Tuesday, May 05, 2009:
Old Images Day A smattering of old images from my extensive archives, none of which have ever been seen here. My desk at work around 2003, when I shared a corner office with three other people and wrote documentation about really crappy third-party software solutions of vendors that start with a V and rhyme with "win yet". My desk at home around the same time, where the standard decorating strategy for any temporary abode... - Monday, April 06, 2009:
Weekend Wrap-up The gay kitty brothers have come over for a week while Kathy and Chris head to Key West. In payment, we had a barbeque extravaganza from Famous Dave's which included ribs, chicken, brisket, pulled pork, corn, beans, fries, and Alex. My neighbour two doors down has never heard of metric wrenches, so he used brute force to take off an old license plate. That's seriously going to affect the resale value.&... - Tuesday, March 31, 2009:
End of the Month Media Day Photos See more March Festivities photos See more Home Improvement photos See more Ella photos See more Cat photos Movies Ella SMASH (2MB WMV) South American armoured suckermouth catfish found in Leicestershire &nbs... - Monday, March 02, 2009:
Stuff in My Drawers Day A couple years ago, I wrote about all the crazy parties I hosted as a kid. Because of my proclivity towards earning overtime pay instead of writing web updates, I did not have time to write anything fresh for today. Instead, I dug into my stockpile of quickie ideas and unearthed the original "knocking instructions" that met partygoers at the door of any given party. This particular set of instructions came from when I turned 15, which would have put it in Septemb... - Wednesday, February 25, 2009:
End-of-the-Month Media Day Pictures: See Sushi Night pictures See Ella pictures See February Festivities pictures See Cat pictures Movies: Ella hanging around (5MB WMV) New RNC Chairman wants hip-hop party &n... - Friday, January 30, 2009:
End of the Month Media Day Pictures Thanksgiving with the Family December Festivities January Festivities Ella 2008 Cats Movies Ella does Paddy Cake (2MB WMV) Ella does Paddy Cake (low quality 1MB MPG) Ella d... - Monday, January 26, 2009:
List Day: Four Children's Books You've Never Read An instructional text for young readers, reminding them that everyone occasionally gets constipated -- it's perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Light-hearted pictures illustrate the various ways to combat a backed up drainpipe, from bran muffins to enemas. Gently normalizes the lifestyle of a single mother and her daughter as they flee from state to state, avoiding unsympathetic judges, and the custody rights of a... - Wednesday, January 21, 2009:
LOST Recap Day this post contains spoilers from last season's LOST finale The fifth season of LOST begins tonight at 8, and it's hard to believe that almost eight months have passed since the last one ended. If you find yourself blurry on the details of the fourth season, you should start with my old LOLLOST feature, before catching up on the final two-hour episode below. As a tribute to Charlie Pace, Jin and Michael blow up ... - Wednesday, December 31, 2008:
2008 in Review, Part III of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Old Pictures of the Year : 2005 | 2006 | 2007 Have a happy new year! Updates will resume next Monday. Couple arrested in Wii brawl Amateur crime fighters are surging in the US Man in idling Zamboni faces OUI charge... - Tuesday, December 30, 2008:
2008 in Review, Part II of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Old Pictures of the Year : 2005 | 2006 | 2007 MMO female gamers more likely to be lesbians Surgeon uses human fat to power car UPS package signed for by terrorist - Monday, December 29, 2008:
2008 in Review, Part I of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Old Pictures of the Year : 2005 | 2006 | 2007 Father punishes son with public humiliation Dead man receives calls in the grave Monkeys fight back - Wednesday, December 24, 2008:
Mosquito bite catches car thief Snowzilla rises again Chicago sheriff baits fugitives with holiday ruse - Wednesday, November 26, 2008:
End of the Month Media Day Photos : See more Winery pictures See more November pictures See more Cat pictures Movies : Ella feeds the kitty (3.5MB WMV) Ella dances to Chicken Reel (1.7MB WMV) Have a tasty Thanksgiving holiday! See you next month! UFO spotted ... - Friday, October 31, 2008:
End of the Month Media Day Because it's the last day of the month, I took the opportunity to upload the past month's worth of photos and dub it an update. You can also enjoy two short movie clips: Anna's scared of Mike's cut (800KB WMV) A sheep impersonates me (700KB WMV) Happy Halloween! Mystery Beatles chord discovered Introducing the Hover Chair &n... - Monday, October 27, 2008:
Media Day: Halloween Party Winners of the costume costume and various other random games won sexy black T-shirts with this logo emblazoned across the front. Anna's decorations included spider webs which were so thick that even a few kitties were caught. Rebecca and Vu raid the candy bucket. Jaood arrives as a pirate, surprised to find two other pirates already arring and avasting. He due... - Monday, September 29, 2008:
End of the Month Media Day It's been over three months since I last updated my Photo archives, so today's post will rectify this sad state of affairs. Fourth of July Camping in Gore Birthday Party Poker, Fairs, and Bethany Beach Ella Everywhere &n... - Wednesday, September 24, 2008:
Stuff in My Drawers Day Artwork of 1985 This first picture was drawn on a trip to Smoke Hole Canyon in West Virginia. From the nearest town of Petersburg, you apparently can only reach the canyon by canoe on the South Branch Potomac River, passing through a scenic field of daisies. After paddling a ways, you should take Exit 22 to reach the canyon, which is nestled between two prickly African boobies. If you choose not to take Exit 22, you will have to get out of your canoe and w... - Wednesday, September 17, 2008:
Stuff in My Drawers Day Creative Writing, October 16, 1987 The Famous Professor: Mike Howl It was 1934, April 2, 2:34. He'd just come from collecting bugs from a canyon. In his laboratory (the garage), Professor Howl was experimenting with the dead ladybugs he'd dug up. He found that they held evidence of time, and electricity. With this he could make a time machine!!! He copied the plans very carefully. He got in and checked it (and ... - Friday, August 15, 2008:
Baby Booty Day Because of general busy-ness at work, I did not have time to write a Friday Fragments column this week. Instead, today's update will be a small mini-game, where readers must correctly guess which pictures show a baby, and which pictures show my cat, Booty. (Answers are on the back of the Mini Page). &nbs... - Monday, July 21, 2008:
Camping Inventory Day Vint Hill Farms, Spring Camboree 1989 Spring Camboree 1992 Spotsylvania County, every month for years Camp Sinoquipe, every month for years Camp Big Mac, every year for 4 years Rock Enon, every year for 4 years Camp Goshen, 1994 Virginia Beach 2001 The Cove, 2007 The Cove, 2008 Co... - Monday, June 30, 2008:
End of the Month Media Day "Nope, I'm not up to anything in particular." "Dude... you're high." Video Game Night is a success Rebecca is tricked into making her own birthday cake at a surprise party This was the tiny elephant. Caught in a tiger trap. Ella's favourite part of the zoo was the puddles. ... - Monday, June 09, 2008:
Vocabulary Day learning words the first grader way Look at Jeff's new cowboy boots. More importantly, look at Jeff's inappropriately wide stance. The jet plane landed on the runway . Three dimensional spatial awareness comes in third grade. We had hotdogs for lunch. The lesson of the week was ... - Friday, May 30, 2008:
End of the Month Media Day a lazy montage of leftover pictures to close out the month Graduation Day Ella does her Birdo impersonation Rebecca's Whiteboard Not My Coat Corned Beef with the Parents More Wedding Fun Have a great weekend! Horror Frog breaks its own bones&n... - Thursday, May 29, 2008:
LOST Recap Day this post contains spoilers from previously-aired episodes of LOST (season four) With so many complex timelines and unsolved mysteries, it's often difficult to keep track of everything that has happened so far on LOST. As a public service, here is a summary of the most important plot developments from this season so you are prepared for the upcoming season finale. A special LOLCAT format has been used for ease of understanding. Episode 1: The Beginni... - Tuesday, May 27, 2008:
Wedding Day On Saturday afternoon, Emily and Matt were married at a church in Berryville out in the Blue Ridge Mountains. After the ceremony, Matt was given the traditional warning from the Spellerberg clan, admonishing him to treat his new wife well, or "we'll chop your balls off with a sabre". As usual, Ella was the center of attention, and danced even after some lady stepped on her bare foot with a high heel shoe. As the youngest Spelle... - Wednesday, March 05, 2008:
Wedding Day Last night, Larry and Janice were married at the Congregation Har Shalom in Potomac, Maryland, which required a trip through the miniscule one-lane exit from the Toll Road to 495 that Chompy (the human) will grow to hate if he visits me or Kathy with any regularity. The synagogue was next to a fire station and underneath a thunderstorm, which made the ceremony quite exciting for multiple reasons. The reception was held at the Normandie Farm restaurant, just a mile do... - Thursday, January 31, 2008:
End of the Month Media Day First snowstorm of 2008 Marc eats a cookie Seems a little horse Indigenous Australian lovebirds Ella tours a prison as part of a Scared Straight program The new Pantene Pro-V commercial More New Photos See ... - Friday, December 28, 2007:
2007 in Review, Part III of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Happy Birthday to James Houck! Happy Birthday to Becca tomorrow! We are pretty sure this is not Santa Claus The movie salt mine Idaho tater tots start blaze - Thursday, December 27, 2007:
2007 in Review, Part II of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Single mom duped by fake lotto ticket Gas station robber runs out of gas Man pays for new truck with loose change - Wednesday, December 26, 2007:
2007 in Review, Part I of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year See Pictures of the Year from 2005 See Pictures of the Year from 2006 Drunk Santas on a rampage Chuck Norris' tears don't cure cancer Cards from heaven have dead man talking - Wednesday, December 19, 2007:
Media Day Booty doesn't like to be looked down upon by mere mice. For the two weeks when the leaves were falling, I didn't have to buy a single cat toy. Anna is scary. Ella gets a Christmas present. The worst job in the world must be dressing up as candy and taking pictures with people laughing at you. Group shot, after some National... - Wednesday, November 28, 2007:
Media Day I don't have as many pictures to upload this month, either because the number of social events I attended was drastically reduced by my raging halitosis, or because I was just tired of dragging a camera around everywhere I went. People never believe me when I say that Amber is a lap cat. Booty, on the other hand, prefers to sit behind me on the chair, and gradually stretch out until she's taken over. &nb... - Thursday, November 22, 2007:
Happy Thanksgiving from the URI! Zone The number of hungry, hungry hippos present at my dinners seems to grow linearly every year -- I should never have bought that bigger table. It only took three attempts to take this picture . Old Paige (not to be confused with Young Paige) managed to be directly behind Becca, so she gets to suffer the ignominy of an extra picture. Here she can be seen on a jungle safari in my office, wearing a camouflage sweater so she can get a picture o... - Wednesday, November 14, 2007:
Evolution Day When I was growing up, my dad took so many pictures that their value is depreciating faster than the US dollar. The current rate is roughly ten pictures for 1 yen, and it's sure to sink further now that I've discovered another bin full that were never scanned or added to albums. Here are some long lost pictures from various Band Parents' Days since 1993. Like rings in a tree, you can tell how old I am by how long my hair is and how round my glasses are. &n... - Wednesday, October 31, 2007:
Media Day Since it's the last day of the month, I thought I'd play catch-up and upload 119 photos into my Photos gallery. Some of these have been seen in various forms in my news updates, but for the first time, you can see the complete series in its unadulterated glory. See More Basement Photos See More Cat Photos &n... - Monday, October 29, 2007:
Halloween Party Media Day On Friday night, twenty-eight lucky finalists from the reality show, Who wants to go to a Halloween party? braved the rainstorms and descended upon Sterling for a night of pool, drinks, and babies dressed up like animals. Anna spent all week baking, and provided witches' fingers, kitty litter cake, and troll liver squares. Erin brought drunken hobo eyeballs, which (depending on where the alcohol pooled in the jello) were either 0 p... - Monday, October 15, 2007:
Basement Nostalgia Day This panoramic picture was taken just days after I'd closed on the house in February 2004. I spent an entire day listening to Tower of Power and scrubbing grime off of the walls. It was very apparent from the markings on the walls that the basement had recently been subdivided into tiny apartments, no doubt to house a burgeoning immigrant population. My first "lazy Sunday" project in the house was to convert a set of basement shelves into a bar. I s... - Thursday, September 27, 2007:
Media Day At the critically-acclaimed, but box-office-light concert of the Manassas Dingalingers, Anna shows Rebecca how to ring with resounding joy. Booty breaks into the Cup o' Noodles bulk box to lick the flavouring off the noodles, wisely leaving behind the fake corn because all it does is end up in your poop. Baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby ... - Wednesday, September 26, 2007:
Memory Day: The Preserved Past 1990 was the watershed year when Aaron Ulm, Josh Lambert, Sharif Ahmed, and BU graduated from the SIXTH GRADE, a feat which is just slightly more impressive than beating Super Mario Brothers with a Game Genie inserted for permanent invincibility. Every speechmaker you might expect appeared at this ceremony: the musical arrangement by the vocal music teacher (who worked for at least four different schools), a first grader (who said "I wanna be like you!"), a senior (who said "In six y... - Monday, August 20, 2007:
Media Day Ella is now four feet tall and one-hundred twenty pounds. Amber noticed that the dishes in the rack were dripping water into the sink, and resolved to fix the leak. Playing a game of Apples to Apples during the Mike/Jamie visit. Poker Night last weekend. Rebecca came in first place, followed by Kristy, Florida-Mike, Jaood-Mike, myself, Jamie, and then Jack. Jack paid two buy-ins, ... - Thursday, August 09, 2007:
Stuff in My Drawers Day When I was in kindergarten, I had some brilliant ideas on how to improve the quality of life around my house, mainly by building a cooler house. The ground floor of The Pickett Oak had traditional sensibilities -- you came in from the terras and immediately freshened up in the powder room (whatever the hell that is). Food was prepared in the kichen and eaten in the dinner room (no word on where lunch is eaten), and clothes were washed in the youteltey room.&nb... - Tuesday, July 24, 2007:
Media Day Sunset over Colonial Beach Engaging in an exercise routine which involves running around in circles for twenty minutes with a small toddler on your back Lucky 7 Poker Night on 7/7/07, where I came in first place for the second time ever, rapidly revealing myself as a pokerial force to be reckoned with (if you ignore all the last place scores from 2006) I took care of t... - Monday, July 09, 2007:
Stuff in my Drawers Day an occasional look at the worthless detritus of childhood from my file cabinet It's a simple enough exercise that everyone has to do at some point in school: write a word down the left side of your paper and then use those letters to make new words that describe the original word. It is fitting, then, that I started THANKSGIVING with "turkey", but from there, something may have gone horribly wrong. (1985) This was a fake adver... - Monday, July 02, 2007:
Lessons from the First Grade A homophone is a word that is pronounced the same as another word, but has a different meaning. It is also a handheld device made by Apple. In the top picture, a muscle-bound giant is attempting to pay the price with the Empire State Building. Below, those damned kids flipped the hold-trigger and left the gas nozzle on the ground again. The 80s were a simpler time, where we didn't look for c... - Monday, June 25, 2007:
Marriage Media Monday Jack and Kristy were married on Saturday and are currently spending nine days in Fiji for their honeymoon! Jack is the oldest childhood friend that I still regularly keep in touch with. Booty likes ribbons. The ceremony was held at the Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Georgetown. The bridal party outnumbered the guests fourteen-thousand and five to one. After the ceremony, guests threw a rice substitute that smelled like candy (and, according to at le... - Thursday, June 07, 2007:
What Celebrity Do You Look Like? II Some old-timers may recall that I did a feature over a year ago where I matched your faces to the celebrities you most resemble . Now that we are all taller and fatter, I thought it'd be interesting to revisit the results with a different subset of URI! Zone readers. Try it yourself at MyHeritage.com ! FOX: All black congressmen look the same Staring at dogs is cruel &... - Thursday, May 31, 2007:
End of the Month Media Day My sister and brother-in-law at his graduation from Vet School (Virginia Tech) I'll see your baby and raise you a kitten. Amber practices cute-sleeping. High Stakes Poker Game BU wins first place, for the first time ever. Ella gets an ethnic nanny. Cat Videos ... - Thursday, April 26, 2007:
Cat Media Thursday Cat Pictures Live from the set of Booty and Amber's new talk show, Cat Chat ( Chat Chat when aired in France) Amber has a hop-on Amber gets high on catnip Booty gets high on catnip Booty keeps abreast of current events Amber is precariously perched &... - Thursday, April 19, 2007:
What's In My Drawers Day an occasional jaunt into my past via the crap in my drawers I am not a particularly hatful person. It's not that I hate hats (for there's enough hate without hat hate), it's just that hats aren't really a part of my daily ensemble. This hasn't always been the case -- throughout my formative years, I almost always wore a ball cap on my head. I can't really pinpoint the reason why, because it usually wasn't even a cool cap -- just whatever cheap cap I'... - Monday, April 09, 2007:
Baby Day If you missed the big blinking baby bulletin I posted over the weekend, Ben and Anna's new football now has her own website at baby.urizone.net . This is a brand new site that I painstakingly created from scratch on Friday night, and any resemblance to totally unrelated sites like their 2005 wedding site is completely coincidental and not trademark infringing. At the current rate of inflation, college tuition costs in the year 2025 are expected to be appro... - Tuesday, March 20, 2007:
Media Catch-Up Day I haven't uploaded new pictures since the beginning of 2007. This is a horrible state of affairs and not just for all of my illiterate visitors (a recent pictograph survey found that 28% of daily visitors are illiterate and only come for the pictures of hot chicks). I have several gems in my collection that deserve uploading, like the time Kelley drank 12 Pabst Blue Ribbons and passed out on the toilet during the Super Bowl . To rectify the situation, and hopefully provide... - Thursday, March 01, 2007:
What's in My Drawers Day or "why it's a good thing I never became a cartoonist" Junior High School in the early 90s. With a single cartooning class under my belt from the Torpedo Factory Art Gallery, I was obviously inches away from an exclusive New Yorker deal, but somehow my life took a turn towards Music. Though those cartooning days are long gone, these sketches still survive. Remember, everything is funnier when you're in Junior High. Almost every singl... - Monday, February 26, 2007:
Don't forget -- the deadline for the "Write My Lyrics" contest is Sunday the 4th! Sign Day After many years of loyal service, the ubiquitous Radiation Warning Sign (seen on everything from Doc Brown's stolen Plutonium to the small print on Hot Pockets sleeves) has been updated. Five years of focus groups in eleven different countries led the International Atomic Energy Agency to the underwhelming design shown below. O... - Tuesday, January 30, 2007:
Fun Screenshots Day Some people argue that community colleges are unfairly maligned as providers of sub-par educations. This line from my server visitor logs might convince you otherwise... or not. Black Snake Moan , starring Samuel L. Jackson and Jason Chrisley, in theatres near you in February 2007 Note the left paw thumb claw -- a sign that it's time for the clippers. (that's you!) Happy Birthday Connelly Murphy and ... - Tuesday, January 09, 2007:
Look, Listen, Learn Day LOOK at Amber doing the Lemur Dance (3MB WMV). Who needs expensive toys? Certainly not I. LISTEN to Lily Allen singing LDN (400KB MP3). I don't know why this is such a catchy tune -- probably its singsong patter and the fact that British accents are sexy. LEARN that, according to zoologists, a tiger's scent markings smell like buttered popcorn. LOOK at Mike's brand new website, ... - Friday, December 29, 2006:
2006 in Review, Part III of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Happy Birthday Becca Spellerberg! John Edwards starts his campaign with an Internet glitch Introducing the talking spy camera Woman fakes kidnapping to avoid work - Thursday, December 28, 2006:
2006 in Review, Part II of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year Happy Birthday James Houck! Gerald Ford's death on SNL Dead drug lord's hippos loose Sexblog suit heads for trial - Wednesday, December 27, 2006:
2006 in Review, Part I of III based on Reuter's Pictures of the Year You can find last year's pictures here . Santa shares his secret Woman steals ID for inmate sex Hand-built cathedral headache for town document.write(makePoll("Did you get good loot for Christmas?", new Array("Dollars and ho's - 1 (33.3%)", "shirts and dishware - 0 (0.0%)", "Dollar Store quali... - Wednesday, December 20, 2006:
The Greatest Pictures of All Time Today is another photo-journalism-oriented post. There is no conspiracy -- I'm not planning on becoming an Asian Bill Cosby (although I sure would love to own his pen). Picture posts merely allow me to maintain my continued extended work days (over thirty hours overtime each of the last three weeks) without chickening out of daily updates like I did in 2004 . Plus, pictures are magically delicious and everyone loves a good picture. Here then, are some of ... - Tuesday, December 19, 2006:
Cat Media Tuesday Movies Doing the Lake Dance A Day in the Life of Amber If you turn the sound all the way up on the dance, you'll hear that Lake is actually stepping in time to the music in the background. This looks comfy, at least for the one on top. My house may be haunted (photo courtesy of CC) Booty practices h... - Monday, December 18, 2006:
Pictures of the Past If you've ever strolled through my Photos page which painstakingly documents life events from the past ten years, you might be surprised to learn that there are plenty of pictures that are not in the archive -- pictures from an era of non-digital cameras, photographic plates, and Mesozoic dimetradons. It was always my intention to scan these photos so I'd have an electronic backup, but I never quite got around to it. Today, I present a very select smattering of NEVER BEFO... - Thursday, October 19, 2006:
Collage Cheese This is the only collage I ever made as a budding teen artist, and it was made completely under duress. Stemming, perhaps, from the fact that I am far too right-brained for my own good, I always considered collages to be the useless stepchild of the art family, lacking in originality, purpose, or artistic merit. It's bad enough that making a collage entails taking the detritus of human existence and gluing or stapling it to construction paper with a few strands of wasted m... - Monday, October 09, 2006:
Holiday Trifecta Happy Birthday Mike Catania! This is Mike and his brother discovering a new world. They then trapped and ate a turkey vulture to give thanks for Canadian people everywhere. Mom made son plant drugs on enemy's son Do big breasts lead to paradise? Spider murders teens document.write(makePoll("Who would win in a fight, Canadian T... - Thursday, October 05, 2006:
Cat Media Thursday Lake, the poster cat for the coming famine. Last night he walked across a heating vent and fell in. Lake wants to be a tuba player because "that's where the bass clef is". It's like a Pottery Barn advertisement but with more wrinkles and a digital clock. The crafty Siamese mix plays dead until lunch prowls into view... Contortionist Kitty climbs ... - Monday, October 02, 2006:
Picture Day: Kathy and Chris' Wedding This is my far too comfortable room at the Mount Olive Residence Inn which came with a full kitchen set (including dishwasher), high speed Internet access, grocery delivery service, and free hot breakfast. Tragically, I only stayed in the room for about ten hours (eight that spent sleeping) so I did not get to avail myself to most of the services like the indoor pool and the bordello. However, this hotel would be first on my list if I ever had to have an Extended Stay in the ass-end ... - Thursday, September 28, 2006:
Learn Stuff Day Here at the URI! Zone, we have always prided ourselves on being able to make our readers come away feeling dumber. However, recent changes to the No Website Left Behind law have mandated that something educational be posted at least once every four years. To fill this need in time for the next round of web funding, today's update will be a class presentation I gave in my tenth grade biology class. Our teacher was too lazy to teach the last eight chapters of the book, so she divided the stu... - Monday, September 25, 2006:
Portraits of the Artist as a Young Man Looking at old class pictures can be nostalgic, but it also shows how quickly you forget the people you spent 180 days out of the year with in a compulsory educational setting. At one point, I probably could have given you complete biographical sketches of everyone in these pictures down to what they usually wore to class and what their favourite legume was. Now I'm lucky if I can remember their first name at all! This was the A.M. kindergarten class at William Ramsey, the... - Friday, September 15, 2006:
*ding* 27 Collect 'em all! Also, Happy Birthday Kevin Moorhouse! - Thursday, September 07, 2006:
Portraits by the Artist as a Young Man When I was in first grade ('85 - '86), we had a weekly assignment to create four sentences with our week's vocabulary words, and then illustrate them with four pictures. Being first graders who could barely tie our own shoes, we didn't understand the concept of quarters; we were merely told to take our piece of grey unprocessed-straight-from-the-tree paper and fold it in half, then fold it in half again. This left us with four equal sized quandrants in which we could bring to life our lite... - Thursday, August 31, 2006:
Cat Picture Thursday Today's update is a rather self-serving one -- I realized earlier that Booty will be turning 4 this year and Amber will be 2. Kitty will be 7 or 8, I'm not quite sure which. Over the past seven years of cat ownership I've taken thousands of pictures and posted over eight hundred on this site, so I wanted to highlight a few of my favourites that may have been forgotten over time. Please humour me as I indulge my nostalgia and close out the month of August with a trip down Cat Memory Lane!&n... - Monday, June 19, 2006:
Picture Day: Windows and Flowers because the vast majority of our population is illiterate Click on one of the flower images on the right to load a high-resolution copy that you can set as your desktop background. The Battle of the Signs Michael Jackson is obviously a stalker... - Tuesday, June 06, 2006:
Cat Media Tuesday An occasional featurette of homegrown kitty porn "Hey, get this growth off my booty." "Please stop staring at my boobies." "I'm only mildly retarded." "Being a cat is such hard work." "Who's got the bed NOW, biatch?" "I guess you do." "BU passed his certification exam with a 92%. Hooray (for the forthc... - Wednesday, March 15, 2006:
What Celebrity Do You Look Like? Over at MyHeritage.com , you can upload a photo of yourself and see what celebrities you most resemble. It's lucky for you, gentle reader, that I had plenty of free time last night: Among some of the matches not pictured, Kim resembles Annette Bening, Anna resembles Alyson Hanigan and Jada Pinkett Smith, and Mike resembles Mother Theresa. I apparently look like Halle Berry, Heather Locklear, and Michael Vartan. Granted, all of these were less ... - Tuesday, March 07, 2006:
Cat Media Tuesday Amber likes to sit on things and dangle her front paws off the end, as if she were sitting on the edge of some imaginary community pool that allowed cats. She also likes that rockin' red sweater I'm wearing, and goes out of her way to find it in the laundry basket when it's warm out of the dryer. Perhaps if I put my clothes away faster it would help minimize the cat hair, but my laundry generally stays unfolded for three to four days after a wash. &... - Tuesday, February 07, 2006:
Cat Media Tuesday I was abruptly relieved of jury duty Sunday night when I visited the Loudoun County website to discover that all jury groups for Monday were cancelled. I guess they figured everyone would be hungover from various Super Bowl festivities and no one would show up on time. As a side note, that's one thing about Loudoun County I love: every single thing possible can be done online, from paying our ever-expanding property tax bills to learning where to park for jury duty. The sole thing I ... - Tuesday, January 03, 2006:
Cat Media Tuesday obviously a completely original update idea This time around, it only took two full days for the four cats to recognize each other and stop growling like possessed puppets. Anna dropped off her two cats on Friday afternoon before fleeing to the relative safety of the big city. Booty and Amber were immediately on their guard, Kitty automatically went into super-bitch mode (super power: Cujo disguise), and Sydney was completely unphased, wandering around the hous... - Thursday, December 29, 2005:
2005 in Review, Part III of III Based upon Reuter's Pictures of the Year Happy Birthday Becca! In 2003 he spent two weeks rolling a monkey nut with his nose Big suitcase or tiny husband? How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men document.write(makePoll("What are your New Year's plans?", new Array("Exciting: Bright lights, big city - 0... - Wednesday, December 28, 2005:
2005 in Review, Part II of III Based upon Reuter's Pictures of the Year To be concluded tomorrow... Happy Birthday James Houck! Experts stunned: you don't learn anything in college Tobler told police that it was a longtime hobby of his to deliver the bottles Fake money stolen from real bank - Tuesday, December 27, 2005:
2005 in Review, Part I of III Based upon Reuter's Pictures of the Year To be continued tomorrow... Losing your virginity is like losing a member of your family. Fiancee actually a man Indictment by mobile phone - Thursday, December 22, 2005:
I was sitting down to write an update about the Audubon Quartet last night when I was interrupted with a call from work to give a presentation tomorrow on my recent superior cutting edge work (which is really just a bunch of portal files with some Java code, and not anything particularly noble or cancer-reducing, but don't tell that to the Nobel judges). Because of that diversion, today's post will be a montage of neat pictures from my past, which I've set aside in the course of my archivi... - Tuesday, August 30, 2005:
Looking Forward to Being Attacked is a light-hearted self-defense manual for women, written by Police Lieutenant Jim Bullard in 1977. The book is in black and white with about 90 pages, and can still be found on Amazon (God bless Amazon). The goal of the manual is to change the mindset of women as victims, providing them with simple self-defense techniques to thwart would-be attackers, molesters, and burglars. For example, if you are ... - Wednesday, September 15, 2004:
September 11 makes George Bush HUNGRY FOR TERRORISTS - Sunday, October 13, 2002:
I've spent this weekend working on the new website for the FSU student chapter of SCI. Although this will not be the ultimate location, you can see the work in progress here . Comments on formatting and content are always welcome. As always, I have a small backlog of things to post that I saved during special feature week: Queen snubs little boy. Brother will remember when he becomes a thug. Those kids' facial expressions are priceless....
