Recipe Day: Meatless Grilling

With an overabundance of foods from our garden and the local Farmer's Market about to spoil, we had our first ever grilled dinner with zero meats. Here is an incredibly easy set of recipes you can use to grill pretty much anything you have laying around the kitchen (that was already edible to begin with).

Grilled Tomatoes:
Cut tomatoes in half horizontally and jam your pinky into all of the water-filled cavities ilke you're going for that deep, deep nose booger. Tap tomato halves against the cutting board to shake remaining juices out, then season with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Grill over medium-high heat for about 5 minutes per side, starting with flat side down. Add shredded cheese in the last couple minutes if desired.

Grilled Peppers:
Cut peppers into strips that are wide enough to act as a raft for a mouse, to ensure that they can easily be turned without falling into the grill. Rub both sides with olive oil and then season with salt and pepper. Grill over medium-high heat for about 5 minutes per side.

Grilled Portabello Mushrooms:
Wash mushrooms and scoop out as much of the black gill grossness as you can with a shallow spoon. Marinate in a freezer bag with a small amount of olive oil, 1/2 tablespoon of soy sauce, and 1/2 teaspoon of minced garlic. Keep the marinade in the fridge for a few hours, shaking flipping periodically. Grill over medium-high heat for 5 minutes per side.

With the help of induction and that mid-level math class that everyone failed because no numbers were involved, we can refactor these recipes into a generic one:

Grilled X:
Cut X into grillable pieces. Add olive oil, salt, pepper, and Y, where Y is another spice that normally goes well with X. Grill over medium-high heat for 5 minutes per side.

It is left as an exercise to try this theoretical recipe on things in the kitchen like cucumbers, bananas, apples, and pot holders.