Recipe Day: BU's Fake Cheesesteak

This is a recipe I invented on Sunday evening with "things from around the kitchen", when I had a manly hunger for meat but no steaks in the freezer and no desire to go shopping. There are probably all sorts of substitutions you could try, but the end result will turn out to be a pretty good approximation of a cheesesteak sub.

Ingredients (for 1 serving)

• 1 sesame seed bagel, sliced
• 1/4 pound ground beef
• 1/4 onion, cut into half rings
• 1/4 cup Yellowtail Shiraz
• 1 slice pepper jack cheese
• sugar
• thyme
• minced garlic
• butter
• shredded parmesan cheese
• olive oil
• mayonnaise

Instructions

1. Preparing the Caramelized Onions
• Pour olive oil into a small skillet until the bottom is thinly, but fully covered. Add a pat of butter and 3 teaspoons of sugar, and then add onions.
• Cover and cook over medium-low to low heat for about 20 minutes. Occasionally tilt the contents of the skillet around to keep everything juicy. Continue on to the meat instructions while you wait.
• When onions are clear and thoroughly cooked, remove from skillet and lightly blot on paper towels.
2. Preparing the Meat
• Cut and flatten ground beef into very thin strips that will cook evenly and fit in a bagel.
• In a second skillet, combine a tablespoon of olive oil, the red wine, a dash of minced garlic, and beef strips. If you are poor and only own one skillet, you will have to wait for the onions to finish first, and you'll want to clean out the skillet. You'll also want to get a higher paying job so you can buy another skillet.
• Cook beef strips over medium heat until they are no longer purple (from the wine, not salmonella), turning once. Add a very small dash of thyme to the skillet juices and stir the strips around (a little thyme goes very far).
• When beef strips are nearly done, and you won't be turning them again, spread a little mayo on each strip. Do this at about the same time you might put cheese on a cheeseburger.
• When done, tilt skillet to separate juices from beef, and then remove strips.
3. Preparing the Bun
• Tear up a slice of pepper jack cheese and spread on each half of a sesame seed bagel. add a little parmesan to mellow the taste of the pepper jack a little bit.
• Toast the cheese bagel until cheese has melted, but bagel is not yet crispy or brown.
• Spread a little extra mayo on the bagel after toasting.
4. When all of the pieces are complete, place beef strips inside of bagel and layer onions within the beef. Put the bulk of them on top so any remaining juices gravitate down through the beef.
5. Enjoy meal, and try not to think of all the dishes you now have to wash.