Weird Search Day

or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"

catchy captions for heat capacity

what chapter does it talk about jem and the lightpole?
This dialogue actually takes place in Chapter One of the ghost-written autobiography. In Chapter Two, technology advances sufficiently enough to allow the lightpole to diffuse the light, and by Chapter Three, the Holograms are complete.

news about basement plastic surgery in Lowell, Massachusetts
Apparently Mike (of Mike and Chompy) has been running a side business in addition to his musical teachings and the cheating of online merchants. This is probably his proactive approach to the self-reported homeliness of the town's populace.

Marvin the Martian wedding flute

Are you really walking down the aisle to the Looney Tunes theme? Hopefully your husband/bride bears little resemblance to Porky Pig.

can I have my spearguns with me in the airport?
According to the TSA, spear guns can be checked in luggage, but not brought onboard. However, the frequency of white whale sightings in airports is relatively low anyhow (unless you're in Austin).

puppet script invasive exotic
In Muppets of the Aztec Empire, Gonzo tracks his geneaology to a lost tribe of Muppets in Tenochtitlan, where he is abducted by aliens and comically probed.

november and i am still alone, lunch period in high school
Eating lunch with other people is overrated anyhow. I spent most of my lunches eating at the back of the band room and reading voraciously, which gave me the encyclopedic knowledge of Gordon Korman books that undoubtedly got me into college, and also prevented me from having to share my brownies with my greedy, hungry friends. P.S. start an emo Myspace account while you're at it.

cougars in heat

Why does Brian feel awkward about handling the rifle and the butane lighter?
I don't know. Perhaps they were in someone's butt.

gifted young red head girl sent to college early pot sex with mens basketball team
This was actually a rejected script for the next Muppets movie, but could be the life story of any number of redheads from my college days.

songs about pt cruisers
How about The Cat in the PT Cruiser?

Chompy the Crocodile

When dressing Chompy like a crocodile, please remember to use a U-neck sweater (otherwise she will be an Alligator).

Drunken elk clears murder suspect
Man mauled after bear picnic
Why Craigslist is such a mess

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