Friday Fragments
You need a Chiquita Banana sticker on your forehead
Yesterday at the gas station, a crazy animal lady with bumper stickers all over her car and one pants leg rolled up to her knee decided to warn me about skyrocketing gas prices as I got out of my car.Why does every single person in the latest Old Navy commercial look like they're anorexic? All I see are a bunch of vaguely human-shaped torsos with spindle fibers for limbs, dancing in performance fleece. How is performance fleece different from regular fleece? If it doesn't involve tap-dancing sheep, I'm not really interested in the answer.There are now rumours that Isaac Hayes never actually left South Park, but that he has been recovering from a stroke and the Scientologists quit for him
. I wouldn't put it past them.If you missed the South Park farewell to Chef, here is a plot summary. If you don't want to know, skip ahead to the next fragment. If you enter the dark cave, turn to page 213. On Wednesday's South Park episode, Chef was impaled after falling off a burning bridge into a canyon, then eaten by a mountain lion and a grizzly bear. Chef had turned his back on South Park to join the Super Adventure Club which taught him to be a child molester, brainwashing him to say things like "I want to make sweet love to you children with my salty balls in your rectum" (using blatantly choppy sound bites from previous shows), and Kyle reminded everyone at his funeral that Chef was cool, but "that fruity assed club he joined" was the thing we all should be mocking. The final scene shows Chef being reincarnated in a Darth Vader suit by the Super Adventure Club.I owned all the Choose Your Own Adventure books as a kid, but I always cheated and dog-eared the choice pages so I could read every ending. I would rather back up one page in the story than have to read the same introduction over and over again. The funny part about CYOA books as they became more mainstream was how they phrased the endings. In the early books like Cave of Time, you can get clubbed to death by a caveman and DIE. By the time you reach book 88, you are knocked unconscious or "fail the mission".I stumbled onto Hot Mom Central while running errands last week. I went to Chik-fila in Sterling around noontime on a weekday, and roughly 80% of the clientele consisted of young, hot moms with kids using the Playland. The Hot Mom Club must have daily Hot Mom meetings there where they discuss their babies over waffle fries and chicken strips -- none of them could have been older than about 30. If you have been searching for hot moms to date without success, try Chik-fila -- maybe some of them are single!We started the third season of 24 last night. It's good so far but they should still get rid of Kim Bauer, or at least give her a better wig. Three years have passed since the last season -- surely she could have fallen down a well or been eaten by a mountain lion in the intervening period.There are only three songs by Michael Jackson in my MP3 playlist, yet all of them seem to play whenever I randomize the list. I think it's a conspiracy.Paige Update: Paige made it to Spain in one piece and successfully navigated two Spanish conversations with the natives.This weekend, the plan is Java Certification, as usual. Last week I wrote the database and this week I'll be tackling the client/server protocols. I will also be interfacing the gleep-gloops and the bim-bops. Before I get to that though, tonight is Movie Night, which is key. I'm not hosting any poker this week, but if you want to, then feel free to invite me and all my brethren.Have a good weekend! Try out for Jeopardy online
Intellectual Property Run Amok Teach your son that people will smile when he pees on them
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