Friday, September 30, 2005

Friday Fragments

  • AskJeeves is considering getting rid of Jeeves as the site mascot. This is a disappointment, because it will mean that I can't make smarmy graphics for my news posts anymore. I'm not sure why they would choose to get rid of such a recognizable icon -- it would be like me dropping my last name and hosting www.zone.net. Where's the fun in that? The only site mascot that really needs to go is the Office Paperclip. At the least, they should replace him with the Microsoft Search Puppy. Both are annoying, but I'd rather anthropomorphize a dog than an office supply.

  • One of the ads on ABC proclaims "We put the SCREAM in TV!". What the heck. Generally when you put expression A into expression B, expression B is an amalgamation of expression A and a secondary additive phrase. If expression B is only two letters long, like "TV", simple logic suggests that you can only put "T" or "V" into it. Perhaps the ad was just a clever way of saying "There is no SCREAM in TV, therefore you should conclude that this new show sucks ass and is about as scary as athlete's foot to a double amputee." After all, it does come from the same station that branded its logo as "A-B-SCREAM" last Halloween. SCREAM doesn't even rhyme with C.

  • Speaking of weird commercials, there was an ad for the Verizon V-Cast last night which depicted various celebrities like Lucy Liu sitting in people's laps to imply that you're really involved when you watch V-Cast. I believe the tagline was similar to "The most entertainment you've ever had in your lap". Now that's a cell phone I would buy.

  • I still don't own a cell phone.

  • My mom recently clipped out a Washington Post article which says that keeping wisdom teeth will lead to gum disease and pregnancy issues. This means that I'm only a 50% risk, because I floss far too much to get gum disease. Kim recently had to get all four of hers out, and she's urged me to take care of it myself before I have no say in the matter. I suppose that one day, when I least expect it, I'll be flossing and babies will fall out1. BABIES EVERYWHERE.

  • In other tooth news, the popularity of bottled water is leading to a rise in cavities because of the reduction in fluoride. I knew we could kill off the yuppies somehow. I've always been a tap water drinker unless I'm in the Outer Banks or the tap has well water. Well water is just foul.

  • Happy Birthday Jennie! I've known Jennie for almost twenty years now and she turns twenty-seven today. My dad recently resurfaced all the home movies from the 80s and 90s on DVD and Jennie is on them at several birthday parties with the rest of the usual crowd. Seeing myself and my friends as youngsters reminds me how annoying all kids can be at various stages in their trip to adulthood. I'm surprised any of us made it this far without a permanent beatdown.

  • Speaking of old faces, Ian Nauroth, discovered my page via Google, after I wrote about hiding from his phone calls in the summer after my eighth grade year. He's still in Pennsylvania and doing well. Who needs classmates.com when you've got urizone.net? I've now reconnected with most of my old friends who dropped off the face of the earth, so maybe I should drop a few more names in hopes that someone will be Googling themselves and stumble across this post (and then we can have conversations with sentences that start exclusively with "Remember that time when..."). I wonder where Michael Buns, Jeremy Blake, Mike Stafford, Sharif Ahmed, Hilda Dundon, Ann Lamond, Ada Holland, and Alyssa Milano are.

  • I did not actually know Alyssa Milano in high school, but she could be Googling herself as I type this. I wouldn't complain. I also need to reiterate that "Googling yourself" is not slang for anything perverted.

  • I really need to find a new party hat image for my birthday pictures.

  • When I use a bathroom in someone else's house, I always check behind the shower curtain to make sure there are no creepy things nearby before I pee. I have been known to check behind my own shower curtain as well. To date, no one has been back there, but my overactive imagination fully expects something scary to jump out on the one day I don't check. I put the SCREAM in SHOWER.

  • Alias last night was "okay". Oompa Loompa Girl asked me not to post any spoilers today, so I won't mention any of the plot twists. This first episode seemed like a pastiche of Alias-y elements. It introduced a new baddie group tangentially related to the original Rambaldi storyline which could turn out to be very interesting, but either way it's going to be a very different show now. Half the time I watched it, it felt like a rehash of the weak seasons (complete with the stock music filler and the jerky camera angles) and the other half, it felt out of place -- like your favourite author died halfway through writing his or her series, and someone else tried to ghost write the remaining books. That seems to be the problem with J.J. Abrams shows: he gets caught up in them at the outset and does really great things, and then loses interest after a couple years and moves on to something else. Hopefully the fact that he's not the direct creator of Lost will protect that show from jumping the shark (I still can't talk about Lost yet because I don't know if everyone's caught up with these new episodes yet). As for Alias though, I feel compelled to keep watching solely because I've stuck with it for four years, but will probably not go out of my way to plan my Thursday around it. Season Two is still incredible though.

  • This weekend I may go out to the Oakton Classic to relive my high school band days and see the Marching Virginians performing as the guest band. I've also got lots of other miscellaneous shopping and house tasks to attend to. Have a good weekend!
  • 1: I do not eat babies -- I'm presuming that they would come out of my teeth because I lack certain other body parts to have a successful pregnancy.

    Drugs to give you that 80s feeling
    Must have kids to sit here
    I wanted to choose a Chinese restaurant for our Mid-Autumn Festival dinner, but my son said he preferred a hamburger [so we went to KFC. What the heck].

    Yesterday's search terms:
    lyric and have lots of kids their scientific name is arachnid, reckless speeding virginia loudoun court -attorneys, caesar jokes, fun facts about freud, fun facts about penguins, fun facts about giovanni gabrielli, cats playing poker

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